Opposition disorder can be a challenge for parents, but there are strategies to deal with it.
- All children go through a stage where they refuse parental authority.
- Parents should try to understand the reasons for this behavior when it occurs.
- Discussions in the event of opposition may give the child the opportunity to prolong the conflict.
When a child exhibits oppositional disorder, it can be difficult for parents to intervene appropriately and constructively. However, this normal period between the age of 2 and 3 is necessary for the child to assert himself and become independent.
How can we better understand oppositional disorder?
All children go through a stage of opposition. Most of the time, they consistently refuse requests from parents or authority figures, constantly resist, and disregard consequences or punishments.
In the case of an oppositional defiant disorder, the child may even react violently towards objects and adults, he may spit, shout, cry or use swear words to provoke a reaction.
How do you deal with a child in the oppositional disorder stage?
Before even intervening, it is important to question the cause by trying to understand the reasons that could explain the behavior of the child. It is also important to question your own reactions, sometimes involuntary, which can encourage this type of behavior.
To help him, take the time to devote exclusive time to him to strengthen the bond of attachment, through games, stories and active listening so that he can feel important and secure.
You can also use a positive discipline approach that involves naming limits in a positive way and avoiding saying “no” to all your child’s requests. In this way, you can formulate the limits in a constructive way. For example, if he asks you to watch television, you can answer him “yes, once you have finished your homework, it will allow you to enjoy your favorite show”.
Avoid prolonged discussions
It’s also best to avoid lengthy discussions and detailed explanations, which can give your child more opportunity to oppose and prolong conflicts. Do not hesitate to clearly explain to him the consequences of his behavior and to give him a deadline to comply before applying the disciplinary measures that you deem appropriate “if you have not put away your toys by the count of 3 , you will not be allowed to play with the other children for the rest of the day”.
Above all, it is important to remain consistent and to respect the announced consequences so that the child understands that there are real repercussions for his oppositional behaviour. With this method, he becomes responsible for his choices and their consequences.
Find out more: “The opposition: These children who make you see all the colors” by Benoît Hammarrenger.
