Many people recognize it: your mind is constantly wandering. Worrying about what is to come or what has already happened. Perhaps these tips will help you on your way.
1. Worry about ‘now’. If you find yourself worrying about something that might happen tomorrow or later, focus on today. Take one day at a time. And if that’s too much to think about, take one hour at a time.
2. Listen to your thoughts. Don’t judge them: allow and accept them.
3. Focus on the task at hand. Whether you’re doing the dishes, going to the store, doing your job, or helping your children or grandchildren with their homework, focus all your attention and energy on what you’re doing right now.
4. At regular intervals, ask yourself: How am I feeling? What do I need? If you are moody because you are tired, lie down for a while. If you want to relax, call a friend. If you are stressed, take a few deep breaths.
5. Go for a walk. A long walk is the best opportunity to reflect on what is happening in the world and in your life.
6. Conscious living includes conscious eating. Make sure you sit when you eat. And when you eat, be aware of every bite. Pay attention to the texture and taste of your food. Chew slowly and enjoy the taste. Put your fork down after each bite. By focusing on the food, we enjoy our food more and help our digestion. Plus, eating slowly gives your stomach a chance to say it’s full. And that in turn reduces the tendency to overeat.
7. Realize that you cannot change others. If someone you care about has a problem, don’t make it your problem. Just listen and be there for him or her.
8. Give what you would most like to receive. If you want love and respect, show love and respect. If you want forgiveness, forgive yourself and others.
9. Schedule family time weekly. Make at least one morning, afternoon, evening, or all day each week for all family members to have fun together. Take turns making proposals for next time.
10. Stay in touch. Buy a stack of postcards and put them within reach when you get in the mood. E-mail cards are also a great way to surprise a friend. On the internet you will find plenty of sites with cards for almost every occasion. An unexpected card in the e-mail can really brighten someone’s day.
11. Criticize behavior, not the person. If someone’s behavior upsets you, say something as simple as, “If you do (whatever someone does), then I feel (whatever you feel)” and wait for a response. Even though people’s first reaction is often to defend themselves, when they notice that someone is bothered by their behavior, many people will try to change that behavior, especially if they value the relationship.
12. Quickly say “thank you.” Also quickly say “I’m sorry.”
13. Plan an outing with your partner for each week and stick to it. Take the time for the two of you together, without distractions like smartphone and television and without children. Go to your favorite restaurant. Go for a walk. Go to a concert or festival. Make sure that you have physical, social, intellectual, spiritual, emotional and romantic contact with each other on an outing.
14. Keep your advice to yourself. People often complain about things in their lives, but are not always looking for solutions, rather for a listening ear. Make sure that you only give advice when explicitly requested to do so.
15. Repeat to yourself every day as often as necessary: where am I? Here. What time is it? Now. Leave the past behind. A head full of old experiences – especially if they are unpleasant – takes away the energy and productivity you need today.
These tips are from the book ‘Rest in your head’ by Donna Smallin.
