Fear is an emotion that forces us to prudence. But is she still good advisor? Certainly not! It often prevents us from making necessary decisions or taking action. So, faced with the options that present themselves to us on a daily basis, shouldn’t you identify your fears before even set goals?
We often go back to a situation that scares us. This is normal, the primary function of this emotion that is fear is to protect us from perilous situations.
Why identify your fears?
It is fear that saved many of our ancestors in front of a fire or the attack on a saber tooth tiger (the main predator of the homo genre 1 or 2 million years ago).
Today, the risks of crossing a tiger are quite limited, especially a specimen with saber teeth … We can then wonder If all our fears are founded And if they are motivated by a just perception of reality. In other words, is it the reality of the situation that presents risks or is it the perception that I have?
Tim Ferriss is the author of the bestseller 4 -hour week. A few years ago, he proposed a simple and formidably effective method to step back, face his fears and transform them into objectives.
This method revolves in five stages:
1. What I want to do precisely
Begins by writing a List of 10 things That you would like to do: a situation that makes you want and that, at the same time, scares you and in front of which you feel a real blockage. For example :
- I want to change jobs or business and I can’t do it.
- I want to start studies and I think it’s not for me.
- I have to make a presentation in front of 50 people and it’s a nightmare.
- The simple idea to go to this evening makes me sick.
2. How I see the situation
For each element of the list, examines the situation by describing it as precisely as possible: I am where, with whom, what, what is going on? Also described The emotion you feel In this situation, the thoughts that come to mind. Examine what, in this situation, is under your control and what is not.
Ask yourself, for example, the following questions taking the time to think:
- Why haven’t I done that yet?
- What holds me Where prevents me?
- What is My biggest fear in this situation?
3- The different possible scenarios
Then take a sheet of paper and create a table with 3 columns:
In the first column entitled ” Define“, For each of the elements on the list you define the worst things that could happen: what would happen if … I changed position / I was going to this evening …
In the second column entitled ” Prevent“, You think pragmaticly in the way of preventing these events from occurring or, at least, to reduce the probability that they occur.
In the third column entitled ” Fix“, You think about a practical solution to” repair “the damage and manage the consequences if the situation occurs. Who will you turn to find help, for example?
Take a deliberately caricatured example for good understand the principle : You want to change your job to evolve in a sector that interests you and you are afraid to take the plunge because you take the risk, by resigning, to lose your income.
4. The benefits of trying
Once this exercise is done, takes a second blank page, to list, with as much exhaustiveness as possible, which Tim Ferris call for “benefits of an attempt or partial success”. You will note that he takes tweezers and does not speak of “total success” but of “Partial success”. We must remain cautious before talking about success and try to assess the profits at a minimum.
To continue with our example above, it could give:
- Take the opportunity to take the time to breathe and do a personal assessment or a skills assessment professional.
- Find energy by getting up every morning to take an interest in a motivating project.
- Prospecting to find a better paid job or closer to my home.
- Etc.
5. What if I do nothing?
We all tend to see What we risk losing by changing your life or profession, but we rarely wonder about The cost of inaction. On a third page you will therefore read, objectively, the possible consequences of a status quo on the emotional, physical and financial levels at 6 months, a year and three years.
In our example, it could be:
- A morale at half mast, which could eventually cause couple or health concerns.
- A demotivation linked to theabsence of perspectives devolution.
- The impossibility of moving to the region of your heart.
- Etc.
Identifying your fears makes it possible to understand why it is difficult to take action. It will help you put words on your blockages And start considering solutions to deal with it.
By identifying your fears methodically, you will manage your emotionsgain in serenity and confidence. You will give yourself the means to make informed decisions, more in agreement with your values and your objectives.
Another benefit (and not the least), you may have the click to get out of your comfort zone, which will necessarily be beneficial for your personal and professional development.
And if you believe that your fear is legitimate, you can start the exercise in 6 months or a year …
