We all need goals to move forward in life. It is still necessary that the goals that we set are of a nature to motivate us. Because not all goals are created equal; there are those who promise rewards and there are those who help give meaning to one’s life…
For many of us, everyday life is dominated by emergencies. In fact, we often relegate what is really important, our core values, in the background. Yet this is what gives meaning to life.
2 types of motivation
Research has shown that humans need to have goals to “function” properly and get moving. The goals we set for ourselves in life help us to find meaningthey we give hope and they maintain our purpose. Meaning, hope and purpose are three essential components of happiness.
But not all goals are created equal. The question is therefore how to define objectives that will be able to both respect our values and U.S motivate. Psychology distinguishes between two types of motivation:
- The intrinsic motivation driven by fundamental psychological needs such as the quest for autonomy, competence, friendship, family, cooperation or mutual aid. It allows us to act for achieve intimate and personal satisfaction without specifically seeking external rewards. It is, for example, the desire to learn for the scientist or the pleasure of performing for the artist. Intrinsic motivation pushes to make efforts and to surpass oneself.
- The extrinsic motivation is initiated by an external constraint or/and the desire to obtain a reward (or avoid a sanction). This is the case, for example, when you want to become famous, earn a lot of money or own the most beautiful car in the neighborhood… These extrinsic motivations value possession, competition, power, appearance or social comparison.
The more we are in harmony with ourselves and our deep values, the better we are connected to what is important.
Goals to give meaning to your life
Over the past 20 years, research Kennon Sheldon (in particular) on the psychology of motivation and self-determination have shown the predominance of intrinsic motivations over extrinsic motivations to be happier.
Thus, people who set themselves intrinsic goals that serve both their interests and those of others (close or anonymous) reach them more easily and, at the same time, significantly increase their level of happiness.
Sheldon also showed that making money or becoming famous, extrinsic goals, does not improve the level of well-being in the same way.
In short, the more the individual values intrinsic objectives, based on the search for meaning and his own values, the happier he is!
The nature of the goals that we set for ourselves is therefore fundamental to fueling our level of happiness.
You can choose very concrete actions to put in place to be able to live in accordance with your own values. It can be little things that you gradually integrate into your daily life, like deciding to spend more time with loved ones or adopt responsible behavior in the face of climate change.
To be happy, one must live according to one’s own values in as many daily actions as possible. This is the path to follow to give meaning to one’s life.
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How give meaning to one’s life ?
To find meaning, you will try to identify precisely what makes you vibrate internally… What is the meaning of your life or, if I express myself differently, what is your raison d’être? Do you have a clear answer to this question?
The search for meaning, as defined by Martin Seligman, the “dad” of positive psychology, is the ultimate quest for a happy life.
To realize yourself fully, you may want to dedicate yourself to something bigger than yourself, an activity or a commitment that goes beyond your own person and your individual interests.
“Human life is short, it is better to make our short time on earth something useful for oneself and for others. »
Dalai Lama
Each of us is, on his own scale, able to make a real difference in the world or in the lives of others. At your level, what cause is particularly close to your heart and how can you contribute on a practical level?
A cause beyond us
Committing to something that is beyond us, finding meaning, allows us to reconnect with the world and put our daily worries in the background.
It gives us life energy, motivation and, very important for well-being, feeling of being useful and do our part.
Here are some thoughts that I’m sure will help you find your way (if you’re still wondering):
- If you don’t know where to start, collect the portraits of people who inspire you and whom you admire, it will give you ideas and trends.
- Commit yourself to an association that defends your values (this is the most obvious way to start because it offers you a structure and mission possibilities).
- Volunteer by giving part of your time where it will be useful and appreciated (you can even do this from home).
- If you have an artistic streak, create a work that you will share (it can be a novel, a painting, a piece of music…)
- More simply, help someone who needs it.
You have understood it well: giving meaning to your life is far from being an impossible mission.
You can start by making small steps, carry out small actions that respect your values rather than launching yourself, from the outset, in pursuit of big goals. It is safer to go gradually.
You will quickly realize that the values that lead you tointerest in othersintrinsic values, not only do good to the individuals who benefit from them, but they also do a lot of good to you!
For what cause do you have the desire and the will to commit yourself?
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