We all need goals to move forward in life. It is still necessary that the goals we set for ourselves are likely to motivate us. Because not all goals are equal: there are those that promise rewards and there are those that help give meaning to one’s life…
For many of us, everyday life is dominated by emergencies. In fact, we often relegate what is truly important, our values deepin the background. Yet it is what gives meaning to life.
2 types of motivation
Research has shown that humans need to have goals in order to “function” properly and get moving. THE goals that we set ourselves in life help us to find meaningthey give hope and they maintain our reason for being. Meaning, hope and purpose are three essential components of happiness.
But not all goals are equal. The question is therefore how to define objectives which will be able to both respect our values and we motivate. Psychology distinguishes two types of motivation :
- There intrinsic motivation driven by fundamental psychological needs such as the quest for autonomy, competence, friendship, family, cooperation or mutual aid. It allows us to act to obtain intimate and personal satisfaction without specifically seeking external rewards. For example, it is the desire to learn for the scientist or the pleasure of performing for the artist. Intrinsic motivation pushes you to make efforts and surpass yourself.
- There extrinsic motivation East initiated by an external constraint or/and the desire to obtain a reward (or avoid a sanction). This is for example the case when you want to become famous, earn a lot of money or own the nicest car in the neighborhood… These extrinsic motivations promote possession, competition, power, appearance or social comparison.
The more in harmony we are with ourselves and our deep values, the better we are connected to what is important.
Goals to give meaning to your life
Over the past 20 years, research into Kennon Sheldon (in particular) on the psychology of motivation and self-determination have shown the predominance of intrinsic motivations over extrinsic motivations to be happier.
Thus, people who set intrinsic goals which serve both their interests but also those of others (close or anonymous) reach them more easily and, at the same time, significantly increase their level of happiness.
Sheldon also showed that earning money or becoming famous, extrinsic goals therefore, does not improve the level of well-being in the same way.
In summary, the more the individual values intrinsic objectives, based on search for meaning and his own values, the happier he is!
The nature of the goals we set for ourselves is therefore fundamental to fueling our level of happiness.
We can choose very concrete actions to put in place to be able to live in accordance with our own values. It can be small things that we gradually integrate into our daily lives, such as deciding to spend more time with loved ones or adopt responsible behavior in the face of climate change.
To be happy, we must live in accordance with our own values in as many daily actions as possible. This is the way to give meaning to your life.
How to give meaning to your life?
To find meaning, you will try to identify precisely what makes you vibrate internally… What is the meaning of your life or, if I express myself differently, what is your reason for being? Do you have a clear answer to give to this question?
The search for meaning, as defined by Martin Seligman, the “daddy” of positive psychology, is the ultimate quest for a happy life.
To fully realize yourself, you may want to devote yourself to something bigger than yourself, an activity or commitment that goes beyond yourself and your individual interests.
Human life is short, it is better to make our short time on earth something useful for ourselves and for others.
Dalai Lama
Each of us is, at our own level, able to make a real difference in the world or in the lives of others. At your level, what cause is particularly close to your heart and how can you contribute to it on a practical level?
A cause that goes beyond us
Committing to something that goes beyond us, finding meaning, allows us to reconnect with the world and put our daily worries in the background.
It gives us life energy, motivation and, very important for well-being, feeling of being useful and do our part.
Here are some ideas which, if you are still wondering, will help you find your way:
- If you don’t know where to start, collect portraits of people who inspire you and whom you admire, it will give you ideas and trends.
- Get involved with an association that defends your values (this is the most obvious place to start because it offers you a structure and mission possibilities).
- Volunteer by giving part of your time where it will be useful and appreciated (you can even do this from home).
- If you have artistic flair, create a work that you will share (it could be a novel, a painting, a piece of music, etc.)
- More simply, help someone who needs it.
You understand: giving meaning to your life is far from being an impossible mission.
You can start by making small stepstake small actions that respect your values rather than immediately launching yourself into the pursuit of big goals. It’s safer to go gradually.
You will quickly realize that the values that lead you tointerested in othersintrinsic values, not only do good to the individuals who benefit from them, but they also do a lot of good to you!
For what cause do you have the desire and the will to get involved?
