Since the “ Know yourself » by Socrates 2,500 years ago, the greatest thinkers and philosophers, from Montaigne to Nietzsche and from Descartes to Carl Gustav Jung, reflected on the question. This clearly illustrates the fact that the self-knowledge is anything but a trivial matter…
What is self-knowledge?
Self-knowledge is a person’s ability to see themselves clearly. It is the sum of knowledge that an individual possesses about his deep values, his interests in life, his capacities, both technical and relational (soft skills).
Psychology researchers Alain Morin and Famira Racy, who published on the issue in 2021 (in an article entitled Dynamic self-processes), state: “ Self-knowledge in psychology is real and concrete data that an individual knows about himself. This includes data on emotional state, personality traits, relationships, behavioral routines, beliefs, values, desires, goals, tastes and social identity “.
The studies reveal two main areas of self-knowledge:
- Internal self-knowledge which represents the clarity with which we perceive our own qualities, needs, skills, values, passions, aspirations, needs, feelings, behaviors, strengths and weaknesses, etc. It is associated with professional and relational fulfillment, personal satisfaction and the notion of well-being in the broad sense.
- External self-knowledge which consists of understanding how others perceive us, based on the same factors listed above. People who know how they are perceived by others are better able to show empathy and respect the opinions of others.
From there, by plotting these two axes on a graph, we distinguish four archetypes:
- The Introspectors are people who have good self-knowledge, but this is often limited to their own perspective. Self-analysis without external feedback can create blind spots. To know themselves better, they must seek more feedback from other people to have a more complete and balanced view of themselves.
- The Explorers are often searching for who they really are, which can create frustration or a feeling of stagnation. To know themselves better, they should find mentors, engage in introspective activities like journaling, or even get help from a professional coach.
- The Seducers Most of the time, they seek to please others, sometimes to the detriment of their own well-being or long-term goals. To know themselves better, they must take a step back and evaluate whether their actions and decisions are truly in line with their values and long-term goals.
- Finally, the Wise are the people who know each other best. They have identified their strengths and weaknesses and are open to external feedback. To progress further on the path to self-knowledge, they can continue to seek feedback and adapt accordingly, while remaining true to their values and goals.
Each of these four archetypes has its own challenges in achieving a higher level of self-awareness and, by extension, a greater level of life satisfaction.
Self-knowledge and its benefits
Self-knowledge is therefore useful for understanding who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world. We can also consider that it is the ultimate quest in terms of personal development…
Several studies have shown that people who know themselves well have a greater sense of fulfillment, stronger relationships with others and more self-confidence. They are also less likely to lie, cheat and steal and perform better at work. Self-knowledge is therefore experienced on a daily basis and contributes to the construction of the individual.
Self-knowledge is therefore a plus in life, a chance to realize oneself and derive more satisfaction from existence.
Only 15% of people know each other well
In the United States, psychologist Tasha Eurichauthor of “ Insight: How to succeed by seeing yourself clearly » (2018), studied the question by surveying hundreds of people. With her team, she interviewed individuals who had drastically improved their self-knowledge.
People with good self-awareness were identified through a four-step process:
1. The person assures that he knows himself well.
2. Validation by a researcher (interviews and questionnaires).
3. The person feels that he or she has increased self-knowledge during his or her life.
4. Validation by a researcher. (interviews and questionnaires)
The selection process determined that there are two types of people: those who think they know themselves, and those who really know themselves. The results of Tasha Eurich’s survey are clear: while initially, 95% of study participants said they knew each other well, upon arrival, only 10 to 15% of people really knew each other.
During the survey, researchers found no socio-economic, gender or demographic patterns among those who know each other best. In this group, we found students, artists, entrepreneurs, employees, stay-at-home mothers…
In conclusion, individuals who have good self-knowledge are therefore rare and their teaching is necessarily valuable.
Self-knowledge is not limited to introspection
Tasha Eurich’s team has observed that the majority of people engaged in a process of self-knowledge carry out exclusively introspection and personal development work. But since so few of them obtain satisfactory results, it is probably because self-knowledge is not a direct consequence of introspection.
Reflecting on yourself does not necessarily mean knowing yourself better.
By analyzing data relating introspection and job satisfaction, the researchers drew a counterintuitive observation: the individuals most engaged in introspection are, in general, the most depressed, the most stressed and the least satisfied with their work and their relationships. In summary, the more introspective someone is, the greater the negative consequences on their well-being.
When we try to understand what drives us, our motivations and behaviors, we systematically start by asking ourselves “why”: “why am I so jealous? », “Why do I lack self-confidence? “, “Why can’t I get what I want? “.
But “why?” » is the right question to ask? When we try to find rational answers to questions that are not rational, we often end up inventing answers that seem correct, but are often wrong. Ask yourself “why?” » distances us from our true nature and the reality of facts.
It is not enough to ask questions about yourself to know yourself better. We still need to ask ourselves the right questions, without getting lost in random reasoning that is more of a headache than a search for the truth.
When we take pleasure in self-analyzing alone in our corner, we indulge, in a sterile way, in the cult of “me” and we learn nothing that can really help us transform ourselves and live better. .
Learning to know yourself better is possible… provided you also look at others, those you trust. Those who will take the time to help you in your quest… This is what we call external self-knowledge and it is almost always the missing link when we seek to know ourselves better. This dimension is however fundamental for the success of the exercise.
Without the feedback of this other person who is the friend, the parent, the coach or a third person who knows how to listen, the process is incomplete: we think we know ourselves well when we have only gone half the way.
