The power of sex in age

That the elderly still like to do ‘it’ and that sex even gets better with age, according to the Sex Survey 2006 by HP de Tijd. People over fifty are far from finished, despite possible problems and ailments.

Research
In the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey 26,000 people from 26 countries were surveyed about their sex lives. According to this research, we don’t do it often as we get older, but we do it well: long and lovingly. Moreover, sex becomes more important as one gets older. People over the age of 65 have sex more often than once a week (60 percent).

Of course, sex life changes as we get older. This is largely due to a changing hormone balance. This influence is noticeable both physically and mentally: the sex drive can decrease. 15 percent of Dutch women experience vaginal dryness and 22 percent of men have difficulty getting an erection, and 24 percent have difficulty maintaining an erection. Illness, treatments, medication and disabilities also affect sex drive. But those who do have sex positively influence both physical and mental health.
Positive Hormones

• In women, the testosterone level rises, which improves sporting performance.
• The hormones oxytocin (cuddle hormone) and vasopressin are produced at a rapid rate. These substances make the partners feel connected. Oxytocin also has a calming effect: you fall asleep easily after sex.
• The production of endorphins. This raises the pain threshold twice. A natural remedy for headaches!
• After an orgasm, the hormone prolactin is produced in the brain, which reduces the sex drive. Research by neurologist Sam Weiss shows that prolactin is also responsible for the production of new brain cells. It could be a solution for diseases such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.
• The production of dopamine ensures a relaxed and good feeling.
• Men lose carcinogens during ejaculation. This reduces the risk of prostate cancer.
• Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help overcome asthma and hay fever.

Weight
An intensive lovemaking session is good for the weight: you burn about 150 kilocalories with half an hour of lovemaking.

Heart
During a violent lovemaking, the heart pumps extra beats per minute. This makes the blood flow faster and that has a positive effect on the heart and blood vessels. Sex twice a week reduces the risk of heart attack in men. Sex also has a positive effect on high blood pressure.

Appearance
Regular sex makes you more beautiful. People who are sexually active look more attractive and healthier. During sex, sweat and the female hormone estrogen are produced. This cleans the pores, making skin and hair shine. And kissing lowers the acidity in the saliva, which reduces the risk of cavities in the teeth.

Regular sex ensures the production of the scent hormone pheromone. This natural sex perfume increases the attraction to others. Having more sex also makes you want to make love more.

Tips for a better sex life
There are all kinds of reasons why sex doesn’t work (anymore), the desire has decreased or simply disappeared. What can you do?

• Talking is very important. If you find this difficult, choose the indirect form. For example, cut out an article about sex and have your partner read it.
• Get rid of the rut, take a break in a different place or do it differently. Stroking, kissing, massaging, all forms of sex.
• Relaxation helps: a warm bath, a foot massage.
• Do your partner a favor if he or she does feel the need for sex. You often feel like it yourself.
• Negotiate and say what you want.
• The lust doesn’t age, but the ideas you can have about it do. Look for inspiration: watch a movie about sex, use sex toys.
• Understand that relationships change.
• It is hard work to continue to feel sexual attraction. Tell the other person about feelings and desires.

Why does it not work (anymore)?

• Medicines. These can affect sex drive or sex experience. Consult with your GP.
• Erection problems. Medicines for erection problems and natural remedies in the form of nutritional supplements can offer a solution. Consult with your doctor, because medicines for erection problems should not always be used in combination with other medicines. They are not miracle cures: no sense is no sense.
• The man’s cumming too soon. Use special condoms.
• Anxiety after a heart attack. This fear is unfounded. There is no reason to forgo sex.
• Vaginal dryness. A lubricant is a great solution.
• Illness or erection problems. Accept your feelings and those of the other person. Talk about it and seek help if it doesn’t work out together.
• Requirements/goals too high. Don’t set goals. There is simply less energy and the body works differently than before. Enjoy what is still possible and don’t fix it in advance.

In the book Sex on the Rocks you will find stories and experiences of over-49s about sex, sex drive, problems with sex and tips to bring the tension back into your sex life.