When the first child leaves the family nest, it is often an upheaval for the parents. On the other hand, when it is the last person’s turn to move, it seems easier for them.
Leaving home is an important stage of life for children, but also for parents. It has a name: empty nest syndrome. This term refers to the feeling of sadness, loneliness, even depression that can affect parents after one of their children leaves home.
Recently, German researchers became interested in the appearance of this syndrome. In the specialist journal Advances in Life Course Researchthey demonstrate that this deterioration in quality of life does not occur in the same way for the departure of each child.
Moving the first child is the most difficult for parents
“After decades of raising a child and living as a family, parents are faced with an empty nest and must adapt to the new situation (for example, regarding each spouse’s housework time ), with potentially important implications for their subjective well-being in this post-parental period.specify the researchers in the preamble to their study. They emphasize that it can also bring a form of well-being by freeing up time for leisure activities. In their work, they wanted to understand the impact of a child leaving home on the well-being and emotions of parents.
To do this, the scientists used data from long-term monitoring panels. This allowed them to study around 5,000 German households. They noticed that the effects of leaving home vary depending on the child. “The first move shows a lasting negative effect on parental well-being”they observe. This phase, called launch, is much more difficult than the following departures. “The fact that the last child moves does not significantly reduce the parents’ quality of life.they estimate. For Professor Tobias Wolbring, lead author of the study, this could be explained by experience. “Once the last child leaves, parents already know better what to expect and how to handle the situation“, he indicates in the Daily Mail.
Departure of children: what changes in the lives of parents?
On the other hand, there can be imbalances within the couple. For stay-at-home mothers, the departure of the first child from home seems to be more difficult than for fathers. Losing a parental role can disrupt their social identity, the authors speculate. The departure of children can also transform certain habits. Thus, German researchers observe that mothers reduce, on average, fifteen minutes of daily time spent on household chores. Fathers increase their participation in this work by the same amount of time each day.
“We believe this study is important because it sheds light on whether and how a child’s departure from home affects the subjective well-being of mothers and fathers during this post-parental period – a period that becomes longer in aging societies”conclude the authors. They believe that further work will be necessary to explore in more detail the effects of these departures on the well-being of parents, in particular by taking into account takes into account the geographical distance of the children.
