Do you hate the holiday season, Christmas carols give you hives, the prospect of having a big family meal makes you anguish, and you look forward to the end of this supposedly festive period? You are probably natalophobic.
“In psychiatry, natalophobia (literally: Christmas phobia) belongs to the anxiety disorder family., explains Dr. Fanny Jacq, psychiatrist. It is a simple phobia (like arachnophobia or fear of spiders) which means that it crystallizes on a specific object.“Thus, as a simple phobia, natalophobia corresponds to an irrational and uncontrollable fear of the holiday season and their symbols.
“A natalophobic person will experience particular symptoms when in contact with certain symbols of the end of the year holidays: Christmas tree, Santa Claus, Christmas carols, Christmas movies, Christmas lights and decorations … specifies the psychiatrist. We can thus observe anxiety (even an anxiety attack) with difficulty in breathing, an acceleration of the heart rate, digestive disorders (with a stomach ache, for example), a feeling of discomfort …“
Natalophobia: why do we feel depressed at Christmas?
Beyond the phobia in the psychiatric sense of the term, the word “natalophobia” also designates the anguish, the feeling of ill-being, the depression, the sadness … that one can feel at the approach of the holidays the end of the year.
“A lot of people don’t appreciate the holiday season and tend to feel depressed around Christmas / New Years, reassures us Dr. Fanny Jacq. I believe that this discomfort has two main causes: the first is that television, cinema and social networks convey a “fantasized” image of Christmas celebrations, where families are happy and united, where there is has joy, gifts, food galore …“
However, we know that, in “real life”, the end-of-year celebrations are rarely perfect: “one can have financial difficulties, there can be family tensions, one can be alone or little surrounded … This gap between what Christmas “should be” and “what it really is” can generate psychological suffering..“
The specialist makes a link between this discomfort and postpartum depression: “there too, it is a question of a gap between motherhood as it is fantasized (childbirth is perfect, the mother is not tired, the baby is calm …) and as we really live it (fatigue, pain, stress …)“.
Furthermore, “for many, the end-of-year celebrations have a scent of balance sheet : it is “the” time of the year when conversations revolve around the questions “And you, where are you? What are your projects? What have you been doing lately?”, especially if we meet again distant family“adds Dr. Fanny Jacq. In cases of low self-esteem, this questioning can be painful.
I don’t like Christmas: how can I spend the holidays (peacefully)?
As a simple phobia, natalophobia (characterized by anxiety attacks and uncontrollable symptoms when exposed to holiday symbols) requires follow-up by a psychiatrist or a psychologist. “We will teach the patient to manage anxiety attacks which, themselves, generate predictive anxiety, explains Dr. Fanny Jacq. Concretely, the patient will develop a “toolbox”, with breathing exercises, positive visualizations …“
In parallel, it will be a question of finding the origin of the phobia itself. “It can be difficult to trace the source of some phobias (such as arachnophobia, for example); in the case of natalophobia, it is often a question of a family problem (a family secret?) or a traumatic event that occurred around Christmas (a death?). It is a work of psychotherapy.“
When natalophobia is characterized by a feeling of discomfort and / or depression, the specialist recommends seeking professional help. “Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary to be at worst to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist!says Dr. Fanny Jacq. If you know that every year you feel bad around Christmas / New Year, why not do some prevention sessions with a psychologist or psychiatrist?“
The goal? “Prepare for Christmas“answers the psychiatrist.”It is about working against guilt and against shame: the guilt of not liking the holiday season, the shame of not having a “perfect” Christmas …“
The holiday season may be the right time to (finally) accept yourself as you are. “Assume to have money problems, to have difficulties in socializing, to be a lonely person … to better live this situation and possibly manage to progress: it is a process of self-acceptance. that a psychologist / psychiatrist can help you accomplish.“
Also respect your own limits: “don’t force yourself to do things you don’t like : set limits and find compromises. For example, if the idea of a big family meal makes you nervous, suggest coming only for dessert or for an aperitif. You have the right not to appreciate the end of year celebrations: do not hesitate to say it, without aggressiveness, to your loved ones.“
Thanks to Dr. Fanny Jacq, psychiatrist and director of mental health at Qare.
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