The role of caregiver concerns one in five people in France. Beyond the national day dedicated to them on October 6, the authorities launched an awareness campaign throughout this month on their daily lives. Accompanying patients with serious illnesses, caregivers tell the reality of the support they provide them. Testimonials collected with the institutional support of Novartis. Today, that of Nicolas who accompanied his wife suffering from breast cancer.
- October 6 is National Carers’ Day, the culmination of an awareness campaign on their daily lives.
- For Nicolas, who supported his wife suffering from breast cancer, the important thing for a family caregiver is to leave aside what emerges from affect.
- He also emphasizes the need for caregivers not to feel guilty about their moments of weakness.
“I had to accept being someone I didn’t want to be.” Through these words and the emotion that accompanies them, Nicolas expresses astonishment, fear, compassion and what it implies in terms of responsibility but also the obligation not to forget oneself. even who jostled in his mind after he learned that his wife, Laure, had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Being both a husband and a caregiver
That day, while he was taking part in a mountain hike in which he had embarked without suspecting anything, he did not hesitate for a second: he had to return, very quickly. He realized that being a husband would come with a new role, that of caregiver. A term that we do not necessarily naturally associate with loved ones of a person suffering from breast cancer, a serious illness but today often considered “chronic” and of which we do not always understand what its announcement is. and its management can be disabling for patients.
However, the role of the family is widely emphasized by doctors: “All studies show that family support is the most important determinant of anxiety-depressive syndromes in patients”thus recalls the Professor Mahasti Saghatchian, oncologist specializing in breast cancer.
Support and accompany
“Very quickly, it was very clear to me that I had to support my wife as much as possible, that I put myself in a perspective which was that of supporting her”says Nicolas, adding that what seemed most important to him was to “know what had to be done”. Beyond psychological support to deal with Laure’s moments of distress – “Quite quickly, she had long moments of crying every morning…” -, for him it was a matter of accompanying her to all the appointments with the doctors she had to meet, oncologist, surgeon, “all these fairly technical steps at a time when my wife was not in a position to integrate the information provided to her, explaining to her what it was about but also sparing her with certain messages and also what I could to be brought to life myself”.
@pourquoidoctor Since 2020, Nicolas has courageously supported his wife suffering from breast cancer. On this National Caregivers Day, discover his sincere and touching testimony, with the support of Novartis. ???????? #CaregiversDay #BreastCancer #Telmoignage #Support #EverydayHeroes ♬ original sound – whydoctor
How to be a caregiver and preserve your own life
Because the importance of the caregiver’s role also lies in their ability not to sink, “not to be overwhelmed by this word cancer”as Nicolas explains. “I had to continue to carry out my professional missions, I had to learn to put my emotions aside, to adopt an attitude that could sometimes seem a little cold but it was necessary to survive over the long term.”
And it is this need to let life continue that he considers to be the first advice to pass on to all those who may find themselves in a comparable situation. “We have to take care, we can’t manage everything”, he admits, emphasizing the caring look that caregivers must also be able to take on themselves: “We have the right to be fed up, we have to accept not being perfect…”.
