How to stop mothering your spouse?

If taking care of your companion when he is sick or supporting him when he is going through a period of difficulty is completely normal, mothering and taking on the role of his mother can become a problem for the couple. By infantilizing him, you question his virility, thus creating long-term conflicts.

Why mother your spouse?

Being very critical of some of the behaviors of your partner, intrusive in your life while preventing him from having his autonomy, can actually mask a lack of self-confidence, and a fear of abandonment. . By infantilizing, berating him, and controlling all aspects of his life, you make him feel like you don’t trust him and don’t let him assert himself as an adult.

This very intrusive behavior can be exacerbated by the arrival of a child with a tendency to project mothering to all family members. The consequences on the couple can be disastrous, especially on sexuality.

How to realize that his companion is an adult?

Thinking about giving him thoughtful advice or reminding him not to forget to do what he has to do, you only have one thing in mind: to help him. However, by acting as if he were your child, you prevent him from expressing himself and asserting his autonomy. By wanting to pamper him too much, you risk forgetting that he is indeed an adult who can make his choices for himself.

The long-term risk is that your companion will rebel, like a teenager, or as he may have done with his own mother. Rather than infantilizing him, let him express himself and make his own choices. If he forgets to do something or doesn’t eat as you would have liked, respect him, he’s an adult!

Find out more: “Men come from Mars, women come from Venus”, by John Gray, published by J’ai lu.