What are the solutions when you live, or work, with a grumbling gripe, never showing enthusiasm and always anticipating the worst?
Whether it’s her colleague, her spouse or a friend, dealing with a grumbler who complains all day long can quickly cause you to lose patience. However, bitching may just be a way for him to get in touch with others and be prayed for.
What is hiding in complaining behavior?
The grumbler tends to want everything and its opposite without ever being satisfied. A bit like a child, he is in contradiction and likes to be asked. This killjoy and negativist behavior can actually hide:
• Shyness because bitching allows him to break the ice and start a conversation more easily;
• The need to position oneself as a victim, suffering rather than acting;
• Uneasiness and powerlessness in the face of one’s own sufferings;
• Anger that feeds day after day.
Whatever the reason, the complainer always finds an advantage in his behavior since it allows him to attract the attention of his partner, his friend or his boss.
What to do to help a complainer?
If we can’t change it, we can still help the complainer move forward on the path of optimism. Rather than being in opposition with him, it is better to show him that it is possible to see things differently.
Although the complainer may be surprised at this change in attitude, gradually it is possible to help him cultivate his own positive thoughts. We can also explain to him that we do not want to be contaminated by his negative ideas, and ask him to stand aside when he begins to complain. Without an audience to listen to him, he will quickly adapt his behavior.
Even if they are annoying, complainers also have qualities to emphasize. They are often rigorous, demanding, and they anticipate problems. Accepting the killjoy side of your spouse, friend or colleague also allows you to relativize and laugh about it with him.
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