Having a “sexy mindset” transforms your worldview and attitude. More enterprising, this spirit of conquest makes your potential partners much more beautiful and attractive than they really are.
- An Israeli-American study dissected the psychological effects of seduction. This “sexy state of mind” makes it possible not to be afraid of rejection and makes the potential partner more attractive.
- This assurance inspires the supposed reciprocity of amorous feelings.
- Captured signals of “sexiness” can also make the other more desirable, thus creating a shared lure.
The “sexy mindset” makes our possible romantic partners much more attractive than they are and causes us to overestimate our chances of romantic success. This “conquering” state of mind reduces rejection worries and at the same time induces a sense of urgency to start a romantic relationship. But how to explain it? This is the object of the study of un group of psychology researchers from the University of Rochester (USA) and the Israeli Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya (Israel), and published on August 26 in the Journal of social and personal relationships.
For them, it is precisely the fact that the object of our desire makes us see life in pink that gives us wings to approach and seize the desired romantic relationship. “If people expect a partner to share their attraction, it is that much easier to initiate contact, as the fear of rejection is lessened.says Harry Reis, co-author of the study and professor of psychology at Rochester. People are more likely to desire potential partners and project their desires onto them when sexually arousedadds Gurit Birnbaum, social psychologist, lead author of the study and associate professor of psychology at the IDC. Our findings suggest that the sexual system sets the stage for forming relationships by biasing interpersonal perceptions in a way that motivates humans to connect. Clearly, the sexual system does this by creating interest in potential mates, which, in turn, biases perceptions of a potential mate’s interest in oneself.
The secret of life in pink
Unfailing optimism? Certainly for these scientists, who recall that the survival of humanity is based on the sexual relations of humans, and therefore, on their desire to come into contact. How is triggered this state that makes us see life, and especially the object of our attention, in pink? To answer this question, the researchers devised three experiments. In the first study, 112 heterosexual participants, ages 20 to 32, uncommitted, were randomly matched with a stranger of the opposite sex. Before the meeting, they exposed part of the cohort to a sexual stimulus—non-pornographic—and the other to a neutral stimuli. The scientists then recorded how the participants presented themselves when talking about their hobbies, positive traits and future career plans.
This filmed exchange allows them to analyze non-verbal expressions such as the close physical proximity, frequent eye contact, and “winking” smiles that indicate interest in initiating romantic relationships. They observe that the participants exposed to a sexual stimulus had a more frank behavior towards their potential partner but also that after the exchange they estimated that their partner was very attractive and that the reciprocal seemed true to them.
Seduction a mutual lure? To answer this question, the researchers pre-recorded two videos where a man or a woman introduces himself and through his non-verbal expression stimulates the sexual system. Guaranteed effect during the response video. The 150 heterosexual participants, aged 19 to 30 and not engaged, watched one or the other video and then also had to introduce themselves. There, youLike in the first study, researchers found that participants said the potential partner was very attractive and interested in a romantic relationship.
How to explain this phenomenon ? In a third study, scientists selected 120 heterosexual participants, aged between 21 and 31, with no romantic involvement. They invited them to chat online with another participant – who was actually an “attractive” member of the opposite sex from the research team, in order to get to know each other. Here again, sexual activation increases the interest of the partner who feels that the other — the member of the research team — was interested in him.
“Sexual feelings do more than motivate us to seek partners. They also cause us to project our feelings onto the other person.says Harry Reis. One of the important findings of the study is that sexual feelings don’t have to come from the other person, they can also be aroused in various ways that have nothing to do with the other person. Yet there is also the obvious potential pitfall: when sexual feelings are present, people tend to assume that the other person shares their attraction, whether justified or not.” The other obvious problem with sending sexual stimuli all the way? “You end up kissing a lot of frogsassures Gurit Birnbaum, because a sexy mood will confuse them with princes!”
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