Psychotherapist Benjamin Lubszynski notes that the holidays are not free from the weight of social pressure. However, despite a “kind of obligation” to be happy, many feel depressed, even anxious during their holidays.
Sleep disorders induced by jet lag, anxiety caused by family conflicts, depression linked to too much time to think… Despite a kind of association with happiness, the holidays are not as rosy as one might think. the psychotherapist Benjamin Lubszynski gives us the keys to truly appreciate his holidays.
Are holidays “overvalued”?
There is a kind of absolutely silly obligation to happiness that we project onto the holidays. When we tell others that we have been on vacation, most people say to themselves that we were necessarily happy. However, for many people, this is a difficult time because it is when depression is triggered, anxiety increases, burnout occurs… Holidays often represent a zone of fragility in the lives of individuals.
What is this fragility due to?
On vacation, we have too much time to think since we are particularly inactive. There are people used to doing something all the time, for whom being on the beach for one or two weeks is not suitable. Since it’s not the type of vacation they need, it can trigger anxiety. Then, jet lag disrupts sleep, which can create stress and depression.
Moreover, the holidays can be excessively disturbing when you find yourself with family members with whom relationships are difficult, especially since you are much more on top of each other. If we are used to talking to each other only in the evening, when we come home from work, to wonder what we ate for lunch, perfect harmony is not necessarily there when we arrive on vacation. .
How is this “obligation to happiness” explained?
It comes from the fact that we often divide our lives in two: we distinguish between the punishment represented by work and the reward represented by vacations. Therefore, it is considered that it is absolutely necessary to be happy during these moments of pause. If we are in this logic, with a lot of anxiety in the professional environment, we actually need a decompression time, but which will translate differently from one person to another.
How do you make sure you really enjoy your vacation?
The first thing to do is to gauge his physical and mental fatigue. For example, if you feel that you have the energy to do nothing and you have had a difficult year, it is better to avoid going to a destination with 6 hours of jet lag and a day of plane on the way out, then on the way back. Contrary to what one might think, going to the Dominican Republic in a hotel with unlimited cocktails will not be enough to decompress, especially for a week.
In addition, it is necessary to organize your holidays according to your personality rather than sinking into a stereotype. Do we need more sleep? To see beautiful landscapes? To go hiking? To fill up on art? To immerse yourself in a culture different from your own? These are important questions to ask, ones that should determine where, how far, and what kind of places you will go to.
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