Getting along with your in-laws is a challenge that requires time, patience and communication.
- In-laws can have a significant influence and impact on couple dynamics.
- A “transition” period is sometimes necessary for certain members of the in-laws when a couple unites. It is important to respect this with tolerance.
- To avoid conflicts within the couple, it is also essential to define the priorities of your new family together.
When a couple decides to unite, the families of each spouse also come into play and can be a source of joy, but also of conflict. Their influence can have a significant impact on the couple’s dynamics, and although the ideal is to establish harmonious relationships, conflicts are inevitable challenges in the process of creating a new family.
Accept the transition period
The marriage or union of a couple represents an important moment of transition, both for the partners and for their families of origin. This change can be difficult to accept and takes time for families, whether they have known each other before or not. Parents, siblings, and other family members must adjust to the idea that their child, brother, or sister is now a new family, which can lead to resistance and adjustments.
Instead of expecting perfect relationships from the start, it’s more realistic to recognize that this transition period may be marked by disagreements and adjustments. By allowing time and fostering an attitude of tolerance, this transition period is more likely to go smoothly.
Define roles and priorities
Many conflicts arise when roles within the couple are not clearly defined. By agreeing on roles and priorities within your new family, you build a clear common life plan which will avoid possible complaints or demands from the original families.
Remember that respecting the place, opinions and relationships your loved ones already have with your partner is also essential. It’s not about erasing the past, but rather about balancing the relationships between the original families and yours. Open communication and mutual understanding will strengthen your bond as a couple and contribute to a more harmonious relationship with your in-laws.
Communicate and establish agreements
Communication is the most effective tool for agreeing on how to manage relationships with your in-laws. Discuss frequency of visits, flexibility, and how you will share time with them. Every couple is unique, and there is no universal answer to these questions. The main thing is to think about it in advance to avoid reproaches later.
Learn more: “In-laws: Beware! Protect and defend your relationship” by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier.
