Children fear being abandoned when their divorced or separated parents engage in conflict. A feeling that predicts future mental health problems in children.
- Conflicts between divorced or separated parents can generate in children the fear of being abandoned by one or both parents.
- This feeling is associated with future mental health problems, especially for children who had strong relationships with their father.
Conflicts between divorced or separated parents increase the risk of their children developing physical and mental health problems. This can create in the child the fear of being abandoned. Worrying about being abandoned predicts future mental health problems. This work, carried out by American researchers from Arizona State University (ASU) was published on January 12 in the journal Child Development.
A ricochet effect
The mental health of children must be preserved to avoid generating problems later in life. “Conflict is a significant stressor for children and the link between exposure to interparental conflict and mental health problems in children is well established in all types of families – married, cohabiting, separated and divorced.adds Karey O’Hara, assistant research professor of psychology at ASU and first author of the article. Conflicts between divorced or separated parents predicted that children feared being abandoned by one or both parents. This feeling was associated with future mental health problems, especially for those who had strong relationships with their fathers..”
To understand how children whose parents are divorced or separated interpret interparental conflict, researchers interviewed families participating in the American health program New Beginnings, which helps separated parents and children alike adjust to this new reality. A total of 559 children, aged 9 to 18, were questioned about their exposure to the conflict. The questions focused on their feelings in different situations: if their parents fought in front of them, spoke badly of the other parent or asked the children to carry messages.
A solid parent-child relationship, not enough to avoid the feeling of abandonment
The results showed that children exposed to inter-parental conflict were more likely to report worrying about being abandoned by one or both parents. “When married or cohabiting parents engage in conflict, the child may worry about separation from their parentssaid Karey O’Hara. But children whose parents are divorced or separated have already seen the dissolution of their families. The idea that they might be abandoned might be unlikely, but it’s not illogical from their point of view..”
This fear of abandonment continued over time among the children. Exposure to parental conflict would predict fear of abandonment three months later. And worrying about abandonment generates mental health problems, as reported by the children themselves and their teachers, 10 months later. The researchers were surprised to observe that strong relationships between the child and at least one parent do not protect children from stress. “A strong father-child relationship comes at a cost when parent conflict is highadvanced Karey O’Hara. Having a high-quality parenting relationship is protective, but quality parenting alone may not be enough in the context of high levels of conflict between divorced parents.”
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