The real benefits of the routine
A feeling of security. As we know, the “first times” are often more complicated than expected, and sometimes synonymous with discordance,anxiety, paralyzing modesty … Conversely, when you know the other well, you live a secure relationship, conducive to the peaceful development, not only of feelings, but also of sexuality because, suddenly, you can dare what you wouldn’t do with a recent partner, whom you still don’t know much about.
Real rituals. A villainous Sunday nap, romantic outing, shared bath, massage … Each couple, over the weeks and months, creates their own rituals, which are so many pleasant reunions that punctuate and punctuate daily life. Moreover, it is often these rituals that are most lacking after separation. If they should not become an obligation, preserving them is beneficial, like so many dates.
Simple sexuality. Not all sexual intercourse requires careful preparation, a perfect erotic atmosphere, in short, an extraordinary staging. A bit like meals taken together, we will distinguish the daily (not necessarily banal or frustrating) from the unprecedented, which, by definition, is not done every day! Suddenly, this allows you to find yourself under the duvet without feeling obliged to go out the big game, while taking, and giving, all the same, pleasure …
A perfect knowledge of the other: without even speaking to each other, we know him by heart. We know how to act or react, we know what works well with the other, what we both like … It becomes simple (and not necessarily simplistic), and makes it easier to let go, without fear of mistakes.
The possible pitfalls of routine
Boredom. Making love is a bit like going to the cinema: if you always see the same film, know the smallest details by heart, you end up getting bored, even falling asleep … knows what works, we should not be satisfied with it, at least not systematically …
The lack of desire. There is nothing abnormal because, more or less frequently, one or the other can experience decreases in sexual desire. It is enough for that to have the head elsewhere (professional difficulties, various worries), or to be in a phase where the relations with the other are a little difficult or conflicting. We forget to talk about it and we risk letting the distance settle …
Lack of communication. “No need to talk to each other, we know each other by heart”, say some couples. Yes, but … By force, we forget that the other is evolving, and it becomes difficult to communicate, on possible difficulties as on what is going well! Pity…
The focus. Small quirks or unpleasant habits, once spotted, quickly become exasperating, especially when you tense up over them. We then tend to no longer see the rest or what we still love, or even what we liked, and which, however, has not necessarily disappeared. Not great for libido.
Forgetting tenderness. One day, he went out forgetting his usual kiss on the neck, we didn’t say anything, we got used to it. Or we stopped holding hands in the street, all the little caresses not related to sex have gradually disappeared. As a result, the bodies move away, the intimacy becomes the skin of sorrow, the desire dulls, and the only reconciliations become strictly sexual.
How to take advantage of the best and avoid the worst?
Living a stable relationship, but one that remains harmonious and conducive to satisfying sexual intercourse, it is possible …
Multiply the moments by two. Even with children, a professional life, a house to keep, it is imperative to allow yourself moments of intimacy not limited to bedtime … Share cultural or sports activities, go on weekends or trips. vacations together (by babysitting), going to the cinema or to a restaurant regularly, all this promotes rapprochement and dialogue, and helps keep the flame alive.
Get rid of monotony. If the bedroom and his bed remain the place of the couple par excellence, it is also good to create the unexpected, the surprise and the excitement by proposals in other atmospheres or places: different rooms of the house, hotel, small insulated corners, etc. Just as it is important, even if everything is going well, to vary the sexual positions, the scenarios … Anything that can increase the desire and the excitement is authorized, you are alone to define, together, your desires and your limits.
Keep your bodies in touch. Reciprocal massages, baths or showers for two, dressing and undressing, cuddly naps, anything that allows the skin to come together is beneficial, even without directly connoting sex. Sensuality helps to develop and maintain desire.
Continue to surprise yourself. Another hairstyle, another style of clothing, develop the multiple facets that exist in any woman, it will not fail to amaze her. And you will also find yourself “not quite the same, not quite another”. By surprising yourself, you become like a stranger to your own existence, you free yourself, and you dare different things, who knows why?
