What you need to know…
Parents sometimes find it difficult to talk to teens about sex. They do not have the same benchmarks. The world has changed and young people do not live in the world they knew at the same age. Today, there is the cell phone, Instagram, Snapchat, pornography, dating sites like Tinder …
They are not always very comfortable … Often, parents had no sex education or received little information about sexuality when they were young. So, they have everything to invent …
Adolescence is an age at which we distance ourselves from our parents. This is even more true in the area of intimacy … So a growing child does not want to hear his parents talk to him about sexuality.
What you can do …
The ideal would be to talk about it well before. The child is fascinated by the subject and continues to be so at the onset of puberty. Up to the sixth grade for girls and fifth for boys, for whom the puberty is a little later, it is relatively easy to mention it. They are not yet embarrassed.
Offer them a book on the issue. This is a great method, because when a question is on their minds, they may not know who to ask it. In a book, they will find the answer whenever they want. On the other hand, this very simple gesture makes it possible to convey important messages.
“Sexuality exists and is part of life. When parents never talk about it, they pretend it doesn’t exist. And that pushes children towards early sexuality or towards pornography, just for information. And then, a parent should not hesitate to say that he is not comfortable, because nothing has ever been explained to him!
“I want you to be informed and fulfilled in your sexuality. This message is crucial because it is a sign of love and care for them.
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You can recommend a serious website for them. As the Youth Health Thread, created by the Ministry of Health. Professionals answer, by phone or on a forum, all the questions adolescents have about their health and sexuality.
Tell them life stories. This is much more effective than giving advice because they hate being told what to do. Tell them, for example, the story of a daughter of your colleague who found herself pregnant at 15 because she didn’t dare say no and had been drinking. Of a boy who suffered because his girlfriend made fun of his sex and told everyone about it, stories of loyalty or infidelity, love, pain, joy … All your life experience is useful, and you can use it to convey important messages to yourself.
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Tell them what you really think. You have the right to have your opinions, but not the right to impose on them. You can be for virginity or for premarital sexual experiences. It’s good to give them your opinion and especially your reasons. Tell them, “I think so, it’s up to you to make up your own mind …” Make them understand that they are adults in the making. No more children. They will appreciate it and will only listen to you more.
Explain to them that the media world is wrong.
The series where everyone sleeps with anyone without worrying about pregnancy orSTIs (sexually transmitted infections), this is not real life.
Forbid them porn movies (without illusion!). Remember that minors are prohibited because it hurts their brain and, subsequently, sexuality works less well: we are less happy when we have formatted our desire with pornography, which has not much to do with reality.
Give them the address of family planning or a gynecologist. Without forgetting to provide them with the necessary money, so that they can go there when they decide to, without having to ask your permission first. Do this for your boy too if he has to accompany his friend. The contraception is not just a female domain!
Read also :
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