You are on vacation, or in your new home, and suddenly it creeps up on you. Thoughts of home. You feel miserable and unhappy. Figures show that 50 to 90 percent of Dutch people sometimes feel homesick. Age does not matter. What exactly is it and what can you do about it?
Homesickness is not seen as a real illness. However, it can make you quite sick. When you’re homesick, you can hardly stop thinking about home. You get the idea that everything is much better there. You make your familiar environment even more beautiful than it is. This makes you sad and unhappy. And even physically you don’t feel too well. Homesickness brings stress. You may get a headache or stomachache or you may not sleep well. Some people even get skin rashes or heart problems.
Recognize homesickness
You often realize that you are homesick, but it is more difficult to recognize with children. You can often tell a lot from the behavior of a child. It cries a lot and withdraws. Or a child behaves violently or annoyingly. Sometimes they complain of abdominal pain or nausea. If you feel a little homesick, you don’t have to do anything. It will pass by itself. But severe homesickness in children almost always gets worse if you don’t do something about it.
No children’s problem
Homesickness is often seen as a childhood ailment, which you do grow out of. But homesickness is of all ages. It occurs in children who go to camp, but also in people who have to be in hospital for a long time. Students who move into rooms and soldiers who are deployed also often suffer. Some people are more sensitive to homesickness than others. Not everyone adapts equally easily to a new environment. Furthermore, a forced departure increases the risk of homesickness. And people who cannot cope well with change or who firmly believe that they will probably get homesick are also more at risk.
Before the trip or move
There is a lot you can do to prevent homesickness before you leave.
- Explore your new environment. If you stay close to home, you can already go there a few times. You can choose to have a holiday in the same place every year. That environment then becomes your second home.
- Bring trusted items. Think of photos of family members, stuffed animals, or your own pillow.
- Go out to stay. Let the child stay with friends for a day or two. The intention is not to make a phone call, but it is allowed to write a letter or card home. This way your child will get used to not being home.
- Homesickness is normal. Tell children it’s normal to be homesick. And that there are many things they can do to deal with homesickness.
- Involve your child in the decision to leave. This way your child gets the feeling that it is his choice too.
- Make it visible. Show a child with a calendar when he is going away – how many nights left – and how many days he is going away. A young child might think he is going away forever. But of course that’s not the case.
Still homesick?
What can you do to reduce feelings of homesickness?
- Accept homesickness. It is quite normal that you miss your home situation. That doesn’t mean you’re weak. Talk to others about it.
- Stay busy. Homesickness gets worse when you’re bored. So make sure you are active and do fun things.
- Do the same as at home. Many of the things you are used to, you can do elsewhere. For example, drinking coffee at three o’clock, another walk at eight o’clock. That feels familiar.
- Think of your home. Write a letter, or look at a photo. Think about what a loved one would say to you right now. You can call home, but preferably not if you feel very unhappy. Not too long either, that will only make you feel unhappier.
- Think positive. There are always plenty of good sides to think of. You can do nice things, there are a lot of people to get to know. And actually you are not that long away from home.
Homesickness must wear off
Even though homesickness can cause a lot of trouble, remember that in most cases it will pass after a few days. So wait with taking definitive measures. You can of course leave the option to go home earlier and think about it for a while. If it really doesn’t work anymore, you can always take action.
Sources:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/
Finger Hoets AJJM & Van Tilburg MAL (1997). Psychological aspects of
geographical moves: Homesickness and acculturation stress. Tilburg: Tilburg University Press.
