Between irritability, anxiety or bad mood, living with a burnt out person can be as exhausting as it is oppressive.
If a spouse in a state of overwork (or burnout) needs help, paradoxically it is already by taking care of oneself that one can adopt the right behavior and find the right relational distance. To avoid falling into harmful attitudes, it is necessary to understand the disease and clearly define its role.
Listen without judgment
Burnout is a disease and not a problem of willpower. The stage of denial that often accompanies the first symptoms should not be reinforced by reproaches but on the contrary by an attitude of listening and benevolence that will help your spouse to verbalize his suffering.
Rather than imposing what you want, take the time to listen and ask open-ended questions that allow your partner to converse in confidence without feeling like they’re defending themselves or feeling attacked.
Create a favorable environment
One of the first reflexes when you want to help your partner in a state of burnout is to relieve him of all responsibility. By wanting to do well, we not only exhaust you, but you also create frustration which can be harmful for the couple in the long term.
Rather than doing things for him, accept that everything is not done as before, but value him or her on small actions and positive behaviors on a daily basis. You can also spend more time together reconnecting with life’s pleasures like nature walks, exercise, socializing, and generally a restful environment free of unnecessary stressors.
Your open and reassuring presence helps your spouse to redefine their priorities and rethink their daily life in order to treat themselves and avoid falling back into the same situation.
Find out more: “Guide to burn-out: How to avoid it, how to get out of it” by Anne Everard, Albin Michel editions.
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