There anger is neither a disorder nor a psychic pathology, it is a feeling. A powerful feeling that is very difficult to control. It was described by Charles Darwin in 1872 as one of the six primary emotions, among joy, sadness, fear, disgust and surprise. Through the action of social and cultural codes, we learn to control our anger.
What is anger?
Johanna Rozenblum: Anger does not exist as a psychic pathology, it cannot be diagnosed as such. It is indeed an emotion that is expressed in a more or less intense and more or less adapted way. It is always to be understood with regard to the situation experienced by the individual. However, if the anger is pervasive to the point of becoming a handicap in social interactions, at work, between friends, in the family, then the anger can be understood as the manifestation of another disorder or as a symptom.
Does anger have a function? Which ?
All emotions have a meaning, they are there to enlighten us and allow us to adapt or seek solutions. Anger is a cry of alarm that most often signals a feeling of injustice or the fact of not feeling heard.
Can anger be a mechanism to mask an emotion that is considered shameful?
If this is the case, she is once again showing discomfort, this time about our own actions. It is then necessary to be able and to dare to understand what it hides. Anger sometimes hides the sadness that we are more afraid to feel.
Are some profiles more likely to get angry than others?
In people suffering from a mental disorder such as borderline or antisocial personality, we can find anger. Narcissistic or obsessive personalities also exhibit impulsiveness and intolerance of frustration.
But are these personality disorders and not impulsive personalities?
Indeed, impulsivity is not a diagnosis but a character trait. Depending on the degree of impulsivity and if it is associated with other symptoms, it can direct us towards a personality disorder or another pathology. Only impulsivity also exists and can be worked on in psychotherapy, it often has a history that begins in childhood.
Why are we able or not able to manage anger?
Managing emotions is a learning process. If the individual has never learned to manage his emotions as a child in particular, then he will undoubtedly be in difficulty on this question in adulthood. It is also the fruit of our initial personality, of the social and educational environment in which we evolved but also of the events that we had to go through.
That’s to say ?
Anger like all other emotions clings to a story, a subjective and personal experience. If we don’t take it into account, if we don’t consider it to guide our choices, for example, it could evolve into frustration. The challenge at this point is to know how to recognize your emotions, accept them in order to verbalize them and work on them if necessary. This work is easier to grasp if, from childhood, we have been made aware of our emotions and if they have never been a taboo.
How to explain outbursts of anger?
Outbursts of anger are evidence of an emotional outburst that could be likened to a loss of control. They are as unpleasant for those who experience them as for those who experience them because not controlling your emotions also means not knowing how to verbalize around you what you feel. Uncontrolled outbursts of anger are the witness of an internal malaise which is not treated and which is expressed by projection on the other. There is no common trigger, but the feeling of frustration, of not being considered or of feeling rejected often exacerbates more distant suffering.
Could lead to verbal and physical violence?
Anger has several forms: it can be directed against others, we speak of hetero-aggressiveness or against oneself, we will speak of self-aggressiveness (TS, scarification, eating disorder…). It can be verbalized, physical (violence, insults…) or even psychological (manipulation, humiliation…).
What advice can you give to someone trying to escape their temper tantrums?
Understanding them is the key. Anger is the “visible” manifestation of a story, of suffering. To understand and learn to manage your emotions, you have to know what they say about you.
What advice to give to an angry person? How to come back down?
If the anger rises and you can’t yet identify its origin, it’s better to isolate yourself for a moment. I advise breathing, coming back to the here, the now to rationalize: am I being attacked or am I in a situation that comes to awaken painful feelings in me such as injustice, fear, manipulation, misunderstanding, disregard?
What situations should we avoid when we are angry?
It will depend on each person’s story. Nevertheless, we all know situations favorable to the feeling of anger: conflicts, invectives, provocations…
In these situations, anger is normal, right?
Anger is “normal” in the sense that it is legitimate since it is subjective. You can’t say to someone “you shouldn’t get angry” because if this person feels this emotion, it’s because in the situation they are experiencing, there is something that echoes their story. Anger can be defined as pathological when it leads to crime or violence of course because it is reprehensible. It is at this stage, the signal of a disproportionate and pathological reaction.
Can anger have benefits? Which ?
All emotions are sources of information and anger is no exception. In general, she comes to say “take account of me, listen to me!”. Becoming aware of one’s emotions and the complications they cause in our daily lives is a first step in starting work with a psychologist with whom it will be possible to work on the history of the emotion and find new patterns to learn how to regulate oneself. .
We sometimes talk about healthy anger. How can anger be healthy?
When it allows justice to be restored, when it is an engine to make us grow, when it pushes us to question ourselves and to grow, then yes, anger is healthy because it builds a future. It is then no longer destructive.
