“ It’s better to live with remorse than with regrets » said Oscar Wilde. This philosophy of life focused on action and taking initiative encourages living to the fullest, even if it sometimes means making mistakes. We can indeed think that it is more enriching to learn from your mistakes than to lament not having tried at all.
The biggest regrets in life
Is this proactive approach to existence shared by those who are preparing to leave this world? To find out, Bronnie Warea nurse Australian who worked for several years in palliative care, collected the final thoughts of many patients who were preparing to die…
As one gives a life lesson, she shared the most poignant testimonies in her bestseller The 5 biggest regrets of people at the end of life. To the crucial question: “What are the biggest regrets of your life?” “, here are the five answers that stand out:
- I regret not having had the courage to live my own life and not the one others wanted for me.
- I regret having spent too much time on my work.
- I regret not expressing my feelings more.
- I regret not staying in touch with my friends.
- I regret not allowing myself to be happier.
Live your life the way you want
According to the author, this is the most common regret of all. Just before their death, many people regret not having lived their life the way they wanted and not the way others pushed them.
At the end of life, when people look back on their existence, they see how many of their personal projects were not realized. Most people haven’t realized half of their dreams and they wait for death realizing that it comes mainly from the choices they made or didn’t make.
Work less
Many people at the end of life deplore the excessive time they spent at work, to the detriment of other activities, in particular moments shared with family or friends. Bonnie Ware even specifies that this is the case of all the men whose testimony she collected! They unanimously expressed regret for not having seen their children grow up and for not having paid enough attention to their partner.
Express my feelings
Not having shown enough of one’s feelings, positive or negative, is also one of life’s greatest regrets. Many people have sought to control their feelings in order not to make waves, to stay in line and to maintain cordial relationships with others. They were then content with a mediocre existence, without ever showing what they were really capable of. Because of this frustration with a lack of fulfillment, many ended up developing chronic illnesses linked to anxiety, stress or resentment.
Stay in touch with friends
Broken or strained friendships can also be a source of regret. People realize far too late the power and strength that friendship can represent in the twilight of existence. When they realize this, it is almost impossible to trace their old friends. Some people are so focused and absorbed in their own existence that they let their network of friends unravel over the years. They then regret, with bitterness and guilt, not having made it a priority.
Grant yourself the right to happiness
Most people at the end of life regret not allowing themselves to be happy. Many have not been able to realize, during their lives, that happiness is a choice. They maintained their usual behaviors and habits without ever leaving their comfort zone. In many cases, it slowly extinguished their emotions and their physical life. The fear of change made them pretend that they were happy like this, when deep down, they still dreamed of being able to laugh, let loose and “do stupid things”.
The end of the work The 5 biggest regrets of people at the end of life is dedicated to what everyone can put into action, concretely, to live more intensely, more deeply and above all in harmony with themselves, to avoid, at the end of their life, having regrets.
