The expression “what does not kill us makes us stronger” now takes on its full meaning. A new one Oregon State University study, in the United States, suggests that difficult events, such as death, job loss, illness or a divorce, promotes the development of wisdom over time. These disturbances would involve, in the people who live them, a particular work to solve these problems and a multiple questioning leading to the development of a new wisdom. Thus, the latter would not come with age as we imagine, but with the trials that we go through.
Three ways to react to a difficult event
The researchers wanted to know what happened when a bad thing happened in a person’s life. They analyzed past interviews with 50 adults (14 men and 36 women), aged 56 to 91, who had experienced one or more difficult events. Participants described how they coped, and whether the experience changed their “outlook” or prompted particular actions.
Three ways of reacting have been identified by scientists. The first, experienced by 13 people, was to accept the event as something that could not be changed. This did not bring about any major change in the lives of these people. Five other people reacted in a second way. For them, this ordeal helped them clarify a specific value or belief. Finally, the majority of participants (32 people), explained that this difficult experience had disturbed their thoughts, made them reflect on themselves, their fundamental beliefs and their understanding of the world.
Social interactions would develop wisdom
The participants’ social environment helped them find answers to their questions. Help from others during this difficult time, emotional support from the family, friends or even strangers, looking for someone who has experienced the same thing as oneself or even the opinion of a professional, have participated in shaping these responses.
According to the researchers, it is these supports and these social interactions that influence the development of wisdom. For example, those who received emotional support, which was not requested, developed wisdom around compassion and humility. Thus, depending on the social environment, different aspects of wisdom have been improved: self-knowledge, compassion, ease of living with uncertainty and acceptance of complexity.
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