At 48, I was born a second time into a new body. I have, in fact, lost 54 cm of waist circumference, 38 cm at each thigh and I went from 177 to 105 kg. The click occurred in 2015, during a gallbladder operation. It was a shock to find myself so big, because I thought I weighed 135 kg.
I then understood why, at 47, I could hardly walk without being out of breath, to the point of choking sometimes, and why I suffered so much from the joints, from sleep apnea, from hypertension.
I understood that I was in danger and that my life expectancy was reduced. I was at the end, too, of being pointed out and of being subjected to humiliations linked to this enormous body, which was rotting my life. I didn’t want to sit there watching her go by anymore. It was decided, I was going to lose weight.
Weight loss surgery was not an option
First I had to accept that obesity was not inevitable, but a disease. Bariatric surgery, which involves reducing the size of the stomach, was not an option because it scared me and also carried great risks. At the end of August 2015, I therefore chose to be hospitalized for 6 weeks in a clinic. It changed my life. By working with the psychologist, I was able to identify the triggers of my food urges and control them.
With the dieticians, I had to question my convictions to relearn how to eat. The sports educator is the one that scared me the most, because I was just able to walk and he was talking to me about playing sports! It was the hardest part, as the pains were omnipresent. I learned to overcome them and push my limits, until I walked 7 km a week before my outing. What emotion…
Going from “fat” to “normal” was complicated
Back home, I had lost 18 kg. In order not to fall back into my faults, my anxieties and my bad eating habits, I recreated the conditions of my hospitalization, involving my general practitioner, a physiotherapist for muscle monitoring, an osteopath, and I did water aerobics. .
I also avoided conflicts and stressful situations. Over the weeks, as my body transformed with the pounds lost, I found it increasingly difficult to control my emotions: happiness, joy, pride and fear, everything intertwined. I kept having tears in my eyes, to the point of taking an antidepressant. Going from “fat” to “normal” was complicated because, of course, I realized my dream, but losing part of me and my identity. I only knew I was obese and I didn’t recognize myself. So much so that I struggled to appropriate my new body and my new image when my weight stabilized after 9 months. The change had been too quick.
I can get dressed, tie my shoes …
Little by little, I tamed my new image by savoring the ease of everyday gestures. I can wash myself, get dressed, tie my shoes, play with my grandchildren, sit in a cafe chair without risking breaking it, get into any car, go through the subway gate …
The carnal relationships are also simpler and more varied with my wife, an exceptional woman without whom I would not have kept. To complete my physical reconstruction, I performed reconstructive surgery, because the skin does not tighten after such a great weight loss, so you have to remove the excess. Today, I finally live for good. I have confidence in myself again, but it is not easy for all that, because I am both the same man, deep down, and another person, who is finally accepted by society and in the circle. of normality. The gaze of others has changed so much …
I would have liked so much that one appreciates me big
Recently, a supermarket cashier said “hello” to me for the first time in 20 years. She had never seen me. It hurts, because it points to the rejection of which I was the victim. I would have liked so much that one likes me big. I also discover that people can smile at me in a store or on the street. I don’t always know how to react, it’s so new …
Losing weight also had an impact on my social life, which I had to modify. Food was only a small part of the causes of my obesity. During all these years, I didn’t know how to say no. Or rather, I felt like I had no choice and I took care of all the worries of my loved ones. Taking care of me was relegated to the background. Now I exist, I feel like a chrysalis turned butterfly and I spread my wings to savor life.
Read also :
- Bariatric surgery: 20 times more procedures than 20 years ago
- Infographic: all you need to know about obesity surgery
- Obesity joins tobacco as the main cause of cancer
