Adolescence: the period of all metamorphoses. “Some accept it while others are fixated and come into conflict with a part of the body to the point of being obsessed with a defect, real or not”, observes Dr. Jean Chambry, child psychiatrist at the Center Hospitalier de la Fondation Valley. And is it serious? “Doubting about your appearance at this time is normal and it does not necessarily evolve into a real phobia, towards dysmorphophobia“, he continues. It remains to be understood whether it denotes a simple need for reassurance, a narcissistic wound which begins the construction of oneself, an excessive dependence on the gaze of others, or a disturbance of perception.
She focuses on one detail
Worries often crystallize around the growing nose while the face lengthens and the teenager sees only him. They can also attach themselves to the teeth, the ears… The variety of complexes is infinite and the anxiety is not proportional to the reality of the defect. Even if the complaint does not seem justified, we do not minimize and we do not make fun of it. You have to hear it because the teenager calls out and needs to be reassured. Highlighting all the other highlights of her face is good for reinforcing his self-image and help him zoom out. You can also ask a well-liked adult to reassure, to compliment. The word of a third party always carries.
She thinks she has big thighs
Teenagers struggle to leave their child’s body, and to accept their hips, their thighs. Many are also too plump overall, and this is also the period of their life when they are the most, statistically, without necessarily being overweight. We can first tell them that they are beautiful and that they will melt naturally. But when they fixate when they are thin, it’s time to ask the doctor: his word will reintroduce objectivity, curve BMI supporting. Help to then identify the hidden problem: lack of confidence and quest for perfection? Asking for attention? This is debatable. Many will leave it at that, but if they attack a real unsuitable harsh diet, the complex can drift towards anorexia nervosa. We do not wait to consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
For her, only one solution: cosmetic surgery!
The figure is revealing: 10% of interventions are carried out on young people under 20 in Germany (2008 figure). A law could prohibit the practice on minors across the Rhine… The phenomenon does not yet affect France massively, but our obsessively complexed young girls could apply. Stop! Not until the body is truly adult, that’s common sense. It must also be said that a stroke of the scalpel involves always a risk, that perfection does not exist and that it is not even desirable. Everything also depends on the defect and the mental health of the teenager. She’s good about herself, has lots of friends but wants to get rid of her protruding ears? That is. She is unstable, is she the only one who sees her problem? We differ. But not without offering solutions. Hairstyle, make-up, sport… the alternatives are numerous.
She hides…
The large lock in front of the face: so classic, and not serious. But if she hides behind to the point of no longer looking her interlocutors in the eye, it’s more annoying because she enters into an avoidance strategy. Same fight with body-covering clothes. As long as she feels better with it, goes out, dances, no problem. We can just tell her “it’s a shame, you’re pretty, but that’s your style…”, without “pathologizing” her attitude. What if she can no longer show herself, play sports at school in an appropriate outfit, see her friends? We consult. Her obsession turns into a dysmorphophobia (distorted visions of the body) which desocializes her and a psychological check-up is necessary.
Boys too…
We talk a lot about female complexes… because girls talk about them! But boys, more discreet, would also be affected today, being overtaken by the same aesthetic requirements, and the evil would often be deeper, for lack of early treatment. When they complain, we don’t tell them “it doesn’t matter, you’re a boy”. And we open our eyes to those who hide and fade away.
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