Summer can be more conducive to encounters and discoveries among teenagers. An awakening to sexuality requires good foundations to take place as well as possible. Sexologist Claire Alquier takes stock.
Specialized in sexual health and prevention, the sexologist Claire Alquier multiplies interventions in colleges and high schools to make adolescents aware of sex education. The expert distinguishes four essential pillars: protection against STIs (sexually transmitted infections), contraception, consent, and listening to oneself. She makes the point for Why Doctor.
How to protect yourself from STIs?
First, when we talk about STIs, we think of chlamydia, gonorrhea, papillomavirus and syphilis, even if it’s a little rarer. We must also protect ourselves from HIV, of course. There is only one thing that can prevent the transmission of these diseases: the condom. Sometimes it scares or impresses, but it can be two. As long as it is put on from the start and there is no breakage, it is reliable; I have never heard of stories with an unwanted pregnancy in this case.
During my talks, I also talk about the female condom because it’s important to know everything there is to choose the best option for you. However, it is extremely rare for teenagers to use it. On the one hand because the female condom is very marginal: it’s a little scary, it’s much bigger, and when it’s time for a break, young girls are often a little worried that it might fit completely. Then, in general, it returns an image that is not aesthetic, not glamorous. He suffers from a bad reputation and a lack of publicity, of discussions: either we don’t know him, or he is quickly dismissed from the possibilities.
Withdrawal is sometimes used as contraception; is it really reliable?
The question of contraception inevitably arises for heterosexual couples. Some teenagers are extremely aware of it, but think that it also protects against disease. Conversely, others, a little focused on STIs, forget about the contraceptive aspect. Anyway, keep in mind that the withdrawal is not 100% reliable.
For one, there may be semen in the pre-seminal fluid. This may be enough, even in small quantities. Moreover, if the withdrawal happens at a slightly late moment, a few droplets of sperm not identified as ejaculation and not felt by the young man may be present and allow the sperm to go further.
Outside of pregnancy, we are potentially exposed to the transmission of STIs from the moment there is mucosa-to-mucosal contact. As a reminder, the glans, vulva, anus and mouth are mucous membranes. Thus, we take a risk if we do not put anything between these parts of the body, even during acts involving the penis of his partner and his mouth or the vagina of his partner and his mouth.
What is consent, the pillar of sexual intercourse, based on?
In addition to diseases and contraception, the question of consent is really essential. It is very important because it is what makes it possible to accept or not to take risks from a health point of view. Consent is ensuring that both partners agree to do what they are doing, that we are not going a little too fast, for example. In all relationships, care must be taken that one does not hurt, and that one does not put the other, or oneself, in difficulty. It’s awareness of the other, respect: you have to be attentive to the person in front of you.
In the awakening to sexuality and pleasure, it seems very important to me to have access to information. This goes through resource people, whether in family, friends or through associations: it’s always very impressive what happens in adolescence, it’s essential to be able to discuss it without the sexuality is scary. We may be talking about love, encounters, first times… There are a lot of representations around all that.
Teenagers have a fairly standardized image of sexuality, where it comes down mainly to the penetration of the penis into the vagina, but you can do lots of other things that also allow you to go there quietly. We can have carnal relations and feel intense pleasure without there being penetration: the fact of taking our time joins the notion of consent. Some steps allow you to get to know yourself a little better, to gain more confidence, to be less impressed, less awkward.
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