the broken heart syndromeor “Tako-tsubo” is a pathology recognized by scientists who recognize the sometimes damaging repercussions of heartbreak on the cardiovascular health. And the brain in all this? Guy Winch, American psychologist, underlines in a column on psychology today, that the heart is not the only one to “toast” in case of breakup. The damage can also be felt violently on the brain. The specialist describes this psychological suffering, in order to invite a better understanding of these reactions and, ultimately, better to heal his sores of the soulwhen a love story ends. The psychologist distinguishes three manifestations:
1. Emotional pain
This is as intense as physical pain. She can be almost as unbearable. On the other hand, psychological suffering can last an indefinite time.
2. Withdrawal symptoms
Second aspect underlined by the expert: withdrawal symptoms. These are the same as the mechanisms that are activated when drug addicts withdraw from substances such as cocaine and opioids. “These powerful withdrawal symptoms (from the loss of love) have an impact on our ability to think, to concentrate”, specifies Guy Winch. Faced with the violence of these manifestations, the psychologist calls for patience and compassion on the part of the entourage and also on the person in pain. “We would never expect an addict in the midst of withdrawal to be able to function in their work or personal life because we understand that they are in a temporarily abnormal mental state. We have to think about the grief on the same terms and modify our expectations of ourselves and others accordingly”.
3. Parasitic thoughts that reopen the wound
The third and final avatar of this post-breakup violence concerns intrusive thoughts. These mental images, snippets of conversation, memories, resurface without warning dozens of times an hour, and rekindle the emotional pain linked to the lack of the other. “Whenever an intrusive thought arises, it interrupts us, reopens our wound, reactivates our emotional pain and triggers our withdrawal symptoms. Since intrusive thoughts can occur, and given their ability to release us, it is clear that so many of us are struggling to get over our grief and recover in a timely manner.”
The psychologist encourages to be more benevolent towards oneself and not to use unnecessary blame and self-criticism to overcome grief.
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