At puberty, the adolescent undergoes a real hormonal “bombardment” which will awaken his sexuality. The body and the brain eroticize. The opposite sex, which until then was precisely “opposite”, becomes very attractive. At the same time, unconscious nocturnal erections become common in boys. Around 12-14 years old, this discovery of pleasure will flourish through auto-erotic practices.
Masturbation occurs earlier in boys, perhaps simply because their penis, an external organ, is omnipresent. Adolescent girls are generally a little less precocious. Anyway, these caresses are natural, physiological and undoubtedly necessary. They provide pleasure, calm and also ease tensions, soften setbacks and lack of affection. But that’s not all.
Sexologists and psychologists consider this practice essential to discovering one’s intimacy. “Knowing yourself better means being more sure of yourself and creating a positive physiological conditioning, sex control, explains our specialist, Dr Sylvain Mimoun. The teenager, boy or girl for that matter, learns to control his pleasure. By training gradually, he gets to know himself better and this helps to prevent sexual problems that may arise later. “
Masturbation does not make you sick or sterile, it is not a tiring activity. So there is no need to worry about its frequency. And, of course, she doesn’t make you deaf. That said, when faced with some situations that can be embarrassing for you and your teens, here’s how to best behave.
If you found his bed “wet”
This means that your son has had a “wet dream” also known as “nighttime pollution” or that he simply masturbated. No need then to interfere in his beginner sexuality.
The right attitude. Let it go without broaching the question of the sheets, unless it is your teenager who is asking for you. Be rewarding: “You are becoming a man, there are things you should know … It is normal that in the morning you will have erections. You do not have to worry, it proves that you are functioning well. ” In the process, leave books on adolescent sexuality lying around within easy reach.
If you catch him when he caresses himself
Just as teens hate imagining their parents having sex, parents have a hard time conceiving of sexuality in their child. If you happen to surprise your teenager, it may shock you and make you react emotionally, without distance. However, your reaction will set the tone for his reaction. If you are ashamed, disgusted, horrified, he will be ashamed, disgusted, horrified. To avoid: judge his behavior or, even worse, let it be understood that he is unhealthy or perverse. “Your teenager is at a crucial phase in the construction of his sexuality and his identity, explains Dr Sylvain Mimoun. If you stigmatize him, if you give him a negative image, he risks having repercussions throughout of his life.”
The right attitude. Take it as naturally as possible: “Sorry, I’m disturbing you, I’ll come back later.” Don’t talk about it again. And that’s all. It is a non-event or it should be. If you have always had a peaceful relationship with sex and have approached these issues calmly, without embarrassment or disgust, your involuntary intrusion into his privacy should not worry him too much.
If he often locks himself in his room
If your child feels it is necessary to go to their room for that or anything else, it is their right. You don’t even have to imagine what’s going on behind it. The shrinks all advocate complete sealing in matters of sexuality. And teens think the same, they do not like at all to come to titillate them in this area, most say that their sexuality does not concern parents! Avoid: be too intrusive, feel that in family, we must tell each other everything and that we have nothing to hide. On the contrary, sometimes the doors must remain closed. It is vital and healthy.
The right attitude. It is by no means a question of abdicating your role but rather of confining it to the essentials: information on the values of love (associated with pleasure, complicity, tenderness), the precautions necessary to protect against AIDS, sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy … “The idea would be to inform them throughout their childhood, by addressing this subject among others (on the occasion of a film or a book) and, then, not to get involved in it, unless the adolescent explicitly requests it “, underlines Dr. Mimoun.
