After a separation, finding the right organization helps each parent to continue to play their role but also to keep time for themselves.
A separation is an upheaval in everyone’s organization with a daily life that can become very demanding when you find yourself alone as a parent. Finding your organization with and without your child(ren) allows you to find a balance so as not to exhaust yourself.
How to organize when your child is there?
If before there were two of you to take care of all the daily tasks, now you have to reorganize to avoid unnecessary exhaustion. If at first it can be complicated, sooner or later you will find your balance without the conflicts and the stress of a relationship that is not going well.
When it’s your shift, try to eliminate chores that aren’t a priority to conserve your energy for your child. To do this, you can, for example, establish schedules for appointments, shopping or activities and provide for rather simple meals. Build on the rhythm you had before your separation with certain rituals that will bring security to your child.
How to organize when your child is not there?
Keeping time for yourself allows you to find a balance with on-call time in the long run. Don’t forget that you have gone through a very difficult emotional ordeal, that of the separation, so you also need to organize yourself when you do not have your child.
Keeping in touch with loved ones, friends or family helps to fight against the feeling of loneliness, to feel supported and possibly to share one’s concerns. Also take the opportunity to set aside time for yourself, to play sports, meditate, read or take a walk.
If you miss your child, try to anticipate activities you can do together during the next daycare, and possibly spend some time in his room to reminisce about the good memories together.
Find out more: “Out of sight, out of mind?”, by Agnès Grison, Danielle Rapoport and Catherine Sellenet, Belin editions.
