Not feeling valued in your relationship can be linked to a communication problem with your spouse, but not necessarily to a lack of feelings.
- Each year in France, there are on average 130,000 divorces for approximately 230,000 marriages.
- The leading cause of divorce is infidelity, followed by character compatibility issues (selfishness, lack of partner support, empathy or affection).
If, of course, it is important to feel that you exist in the eyes of your spouse, not being valued is not always a sign of a lack of feelings. It is often a communication problem.
Start by expressing your needs
If love exists in the relationship but your partner is not able to value you enough, the first step is to explain to him in a very concrete way in which situations this could have caused you problems. If he doesn’t know, he won’t be able to change his behavior.
By sharing how you feel and clearly explaining to him what you expect in a concrete way, he can begin to question himself and eventually adopt a new way of being with you, especially when you are in a group with friends or family.
Know how to spot the signs
More often than not, the lack of valuation results in a lack of support, especially in difficult situations. It’s not always for lack of feelings, but rather because your partner doesn’t realize that you need him or her at the time.
On the other hand, if he or she begins to complain more and more about your behavior, prefers other activities to being with you, and he or she no longer pays any attention to what you say, maybe it’s time to think about a separation for lack of interest and feelings for each other.
Learn more: “Couple communication: Beyond emotional intelligence; More love less conflict; Couple self-therapy” by Gary Love.
