How do you deal with a narcissist?

I’m pretty sure my partner is a narcissist. We have two children aged 5 and 9. What should I do?

“Are you afraid that your children will become infected with your husband’s narcissism? It could be. Narcissism is not a disease transmitted by a virus or by germs, but it is a nuisance behavior that children, like any behavior, easily copy from their parents.

But your husband is probably the most bothered by you. Narcissists want constant attention. If they don’t get it or not enough, they can burst out in anger or depressed turn into. If you don’t go out of your way to spoil a narcissist like your husband in any way you can, you’re going to get really stuck with him.

You can do two things. In the first place, it is not wise to spoil your man to avoid quarrels. This leads to the fact that you have to give him his way in everything. Second, you can try to talk to your husband about the causes of his narcissism. Because narcissism is usually a reaction to a bad situation, such as abuse or trauma that took place during childhood. If necessary, engage a psychologist for relationship discussions through your GP.”

When I met my ex, I thought he was a handsome, tough and confident man. The longer we were together, the more often I noticed that he thought he was really cool and awesome. We broke up because I can’t live with a narcissist. I’m afraid my 5 year old son will also become a narcissist if he spends too much time with my ex. Is that possible?

“Yes, you can. And in two ways. Children copy their parents’ behavior, that’s the first way. Your son could become just as self-centered as your ex, just because the example makes him think that’s how it is. belongs.

The second way takes a detour. Narcissism is a reaction to unpleasant events in childhood. Perhaps your ex’s parents used violence against him or neglected him. Your ex’s narcissism can be a defense against the insecurity he has come to feel as a result of this treatment. Now it could be that your ex is copying the behavior of his parents and abusing or neglecting your son. Your son could then in turn defend himself against that by acting like a narcissist.

It is important that you protect your son from this turn of events. Keep talking to your ex about his upbringing. Give your son all the love you have. Be alert to your child’s strange behavior and immediately discuss it with him in words he can understand.”

Is there a cure for narcissism?

“Narcissism is a tricky trait, but it’s not a disease. It only becomes that when someone has the narcissistic personality disorder has. Such a person is extremely sensitive to offense, i.e. to loss of face and to the feeling that his self-esteem is being damaged. A person with this disorder can become very violent, including towards themselves. It is therefore always important to proceed with caution.

There is no medication for narcissistic personality disorder and no cognitive behavioral therapy. The only thing that helps is long-term treatment in which clients with this condition learn to trust someone else, namely their therapist. The problem is that narcissists rarely seek therapy because they feel that there is nothing wrong with them. It’s always someone else’s fault.”

A friend of mine lives with a tyrant of a narcissist. He belittles her, telling himself he’s the best in the world. He ruins her life and she is afraid to leave him. Can I help her?

“People are often the last to see how bad their situation is. A alcoholic For example, he maintains for a long time that his excessive drinking is not that bad. Perhaps your friend does not see how much her partner is causing her harm.

It is also possible that she is aware of this, but that she loves the man despite everything. Maybe she hopes that one day he will change. Love and hope can keep a person in a bad situation for a long time.

A final possibility is that your girlfriend has a low opinion of herself. For example, she thinks she doesn’t deserve better than this man, or that she’ll never find a better partner anyway, because she’s too stupid or ugly for that.

In any case, the only thing you can do is not blame her, but keep telling her that bad things are happening to her and that it is not her fault. Keep in touch and slowly try to make her see that she doesn’t have to be belittled to get someone to love her.”

Recently it has become clear that my mother has a narcissistic personality disorder. How did you get that? Through past experiences?

“Indeed. Narcissistic Personality Disorder develops during childhood, as a reaction to bad events. Usually it involves emotional neglect or violence by the parents. As a result, children start to feel worthless and defend themselves against this by inflating their egos and making themselves great. The thought seems to be: if no one else does it, then I’ll do it myself.

You can say that narcissism, heightened self-esteem, is an antidote to feelings of inferiority. These can also arise later in life, for example due to an unhappy love or an abusive partner.”

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