– He disobeys
You ask him to turn off the television, put his bike away or do his homework, and he does what he wants? His personality is also forged in opposition and he may be trying to put you to the test. Do not hesitate to (re) formulate the rules and the “framework” in which your child must evolve at each new stage (back to school, moving …). If he refuses to obey, if he persists in not respecting community rules, he may be launching an SOS. In this case, a one-to-one discussion is called for: “I can see that you have problems, what’s wrong? Can’t you tell me otherwise?” But ask yourself also honestly the question: “Am I not asking too much of him?” By dint of being demanding and constantly on his back, you create saturation and your child ends up not answering the call.
– He lies
It is often for fear of punishment. Play the confidence: “I prefer that you tell me the truth, even if you made a big mistake, and I will take it into account” and let him justify himself, not to punish him, but to understand him better. Encourage him to repair the fault committed and hidden by his lie. Your child must learn to be responsible and take responsibility for their actions. Avoid police questioning. Sit at his level, eye to eye without dominating him … Take a conciliatory listening attitude, be firm, without being aggressive.
– He steals
He does not necessarily measure the scope of his gesture, so you have to explain to him that this is not done and why. Know that pilferage expresses a lack of … affection, interest, time. It expresses the need for compensation. This is why, it may be necessary to revise upwards your pocket money, or your availability with regard to it. Avoid calling him a thief. It is not because he has put his hand in your bag that he is condemned to repeat his gesture. But don’t be ostrich because your lack of reaction can be interpreted as encouragement or a lack of interest. He will then have to go crescendo in his nonsense so that you finally react!
