To avoid being unfaithful to your partner and endangering your life as a couple, you should develop your empathy.
- Before finding a way to avoid affairs, researchers identified common causes. Men are more likely to cheat when they feel their sexual needs aren’t being met.
- For women, it is the feeling that their emotional needs are not being met that most often leads them to another bed.
- A 2019 study shows that people who are separated or divorced were 46% more likely to die younger than those in a relationship.
Life as a couple is not always easy and there are many temptations… Psychologists from Reichman University (Israel) and the University of Rochester wondered if empathy could reduce infidelity within a couple . The answer to this question seems to be yes.
Empathy, the best weapon to fight against temptation
To verify that empathy was the best way to make your relationship last without a hitch, the researchers of the study published in Journal of Sex Research brought together 408 participants (213 women and 195 men aged 20 and 47). They had all been in monogamous relationships for at least four months.
Volunteers had to assess, meet or imagine attractive strangers. Their expressions of interest in these attractive strangers were measured as well as their commitment and desire for their current partner.
The team found that when individuals thought from their significant other’s perspective, their commitment and desire for their partner was greater. At the same time, sexual and romantic interest in potential lovers declined. Findings suggest that consideration of the other discourages people from engaging in behaviors that can hurt the person they love and harm their relationship.
“Taking into account the point of view (of the partner) does not prevent you from cheating, but it reduces the desire to do so”, explains Harry Reis who worked on this experiment. Ultimately, he says, being unfaithful means “putting your own goals ahead of the good of the partner and the relationship, so seeing things from the other person’s perspective gives a more balanced view of those situations.”
“Active consideration of how romantic partners may be affected by these situations serves as a strategy that encourages people to control their responses to attractive alternative partners and deviate from their attractiveness”adds lead author and psychologist Gurit Birnbaum.
Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes also makes life as a couple easier
In their communicated of January 26, 2023, scientists recall that taking into account the point of view of the other also promotes understanding, closeness and benevolence. Thus, in addition to reducing the likelihood of infidelity, this type of empathy encourages having compassion for the emotions of his or her partner and seeking to strengthen the bonds of the couple. These elements are likely to promote the consolidation of the existing relationship.
“People invariably feel better understood, making it easier to resolve disagreements, get appropriate but non-intrusive help, and share joys and accomplishments”adds Harry Reis. “It’s one of those skills that can help people see the ‘we’ – rather than the ‘me and you’ – in a relationship.”
