Julie Katz, life coach and creator of the Facebook page “Let’s dance in the rain, self-care in times of corona”, explains how to make the most of this confinement situation.
- Containment puts everyone in front of themselves
- It’s time to redefine what drives our lives
What if confinement was ultimately an opportunity to take stock of your life and the time to set new goals? Julie Katz, life coach and creator of the Facebook page Let’s dance in the rain, self-care in times of coronaexplains how to optimize this period to begin a 360 degree turn.
How can this period of confinement be beneficial?
This period forces us to get out of our routine, our comfort zone, the safe daily life that we had created for ourselves. The confinement finally gives room for new reflections, for example for people who would like and/or need changes. Caught in the daily routine, we close ourselves to this kind of personal reflection, often for lack of time. This period is therefore fertile ground for new personal reflections.
It is sometimes difficult to take stock when the mind wanders or becomes restless. How to do it ?
When we have space for thoughts and reflection, it can become overwhelming, even scary. What I advise is to write. We must welcome what presents itself, without clinging particularly to each thought. Just observe them, note them, take into account how we feel, what we feel. We then begin to build a reflection. It can be interesting to be accompanied or to find support groups.
For example, there is a Facebook group called “Les paumés” for people who are looking for themselves, or the one I created “Let’s dance in the rain”, on which I offer support adapted to confinement. Going out of your habits to move towards a reflection that you did not allow yourself before is a potentially overwhelming process of change. You have to surround yourself, if possible, with people who are in a similar process. You feel less alone, less judged, it’s reassuring to see that other people are questioning the meaning of their lives, you feel more legitimate.
There are also podcasts that allow you to have references, to be inspired by people who have gone through the same journey. You have to find benchmarks. There is also coaching, which finally allows you to deepen a reflection, to frame it and to make it tailor-made to take action.
Many French people are confined to their homes alone. How can this solitude benefit them?
Often, we tend to avoid each other, especially by having fun, keeping busy, we load our days and we avoid being alone with ourselves. However, solitude is necessary and indispensable for renewal. Looking yourself in the face, welcoming what is coming and what is happening within you is essential to take the right direction and feel good about your life. The context prevents us from going outside, so we can look inside, probe ourselves, understand what we want and need. It is true that it is not easy for some at first, but loneliness is the beginning of everything.
It is, conversely, not easy when you live together. What to do in these cases?
We have to free up time. Acting for one’s own well-being is healthy and not selfish. If we feel the need to take stock, we must allow ourselves to free up time and communicate it to others. Of course, it’s best to do it in an organized way without making others suffer, but being calm and not reacting hotly is very important. When you calm down, take the time to refocus and ask yourself where this anger or any other emotion comes from, it is very beneficial. However, it requires a moment of solitude.
How do you deal with the emotions you talk about without being overwhelmed?
We tend to put them aside because we don’t have time. But emotions are messengers that express a need. The concept of nonviolent communication is that emotion reveals a need within us. Detaching yourself from this emotion and seeing it as a messenger allows us to take a step back. Here again, I advocate writing so as not to be overwhelmed, to observe what is happening within us and try to understand the message. There are perhaps even more emotions in this period, they should not be avoided, but welcomed and given attention to them.
How can taking the time to listen to each other during this latency period benefit us when we resume a normal life?
It provides a sense of control – however, you have to find the balance between having control over what you can control and letting go of what is not your control. Getting out of confinement after having identified your needs and desires and sometimes, after having started life changes will bring personal satisfaction. By taking this path, we realize that we are not (or no longer) the victim of our life, but the decision maker. It’s a question of state of mind: either I’m a victim of my fate, or I feel bad, I have needs, I identify them and move on. I evolve, I progress. It is rewarding and satisfying.
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