Today, Bénédicte tells us how she tries as best she can to manage the schooling of her five children at home, and the pressure she feels from society who would like to make her a super mom in cakes. this period of confinement.
In this very special period of confinement, Why Doctor has collected testimonies from French people about their experience. Today, Bénédicte, 47, confined to a house in the Paris region with her husband and five children, tells us about her exhausting daily life.
“Currently my husband is telecommuting and I am in the retraining phase, so I am the one taking care of the children. We have five: one in kindergarten, one in CP, one in fifth, one in second and one in BTS metallurgy. All my time is devoted to making them work. With the exception of the big one, they don’t do it on their own and I have to be behind them all the time. It’s the kindergarten girl who requires the most attention, she would like to do a lot of things but doesn’t stay focused for very long. To occupy it, the teacher sends us a list of small activities: cutting, graphic design… With the one who is in CP, we work on reading sheets that the teacher sends, on exercise books for reading and mathematics and on more playful things like challenges, games, poems, drawings to do for the return to class… They are already considering the post-confinement period. My boy doesn’t understand the point of homeschooling, he would like to spend his time in the garden playing football, table tennis, or watching cartoons.
With the one who is in fifth grade, we had difficulties at the beginning because we didn’t have enough computers. Now, from college, they have live online classes. So it took about ten days to get started. Currently, he is catching up on the homework given during last week, but it is pleasant because there is no pressure from the teachers. Every time we couldn’t access a link they sent us, or we had more paper to print, I explained to them and they were very understanding… In terms of materials, it’s very disparate. The language and math teachers send us very specific things, but not everyone does. In French, for example, the teacher is already very eccentric, but from a distance it’s even worse. So I base myself on what he sends and I try to supplement on these themes with free supports like MaxiCourse Where My class at home.
I can’t handle them all!
In addition, as my child is dyslexic, he has difficulties so he has to adapt. We work on the subject but I don’t necessarily attach myself to the teacher’s lessons because sometimes I don’t understand. In SVT, the last time, the teacher sent us an activity but no lesson. I’m not a SVT teacher, I can’t do an activity without support! It’s been three days since I asked for ideas by email and I still haven’t been answered. Those who are in high school have more and more online courses, with MCQs to be returned. And my son in BTS, I trust him, he works on his side, he is very busy. I can’t handle them all!
I also make them work on Saturdays to try to catch up. The rest of the time, we’re lucky to have a garden where they can play, we play board games, colour, lots of puzzles, football, table tennis. I allow them two TV slots during the day and I have to admit that people play PS a little more than usual. We also have a puppy and two cats so it keeps the kids busy. The school holidays start in two days but as we have fallen behind for the one who is in CP and the one who is in fifth, we will overflow a little on the holidays, at least their equivalent, because it does not look like anything anymore!
The first week I had real panic attacks
With all this, I must admit that I have very little time for myself. The children’s schedules are staggered, they start work later than when they went to school and the mornings are very short. I feel like I spend my time on my computer printing things out for the kids. The first week was really a mess. Now I have one cover per child and per subject. In the afternoon, I am often exhausted. If I can’t reframe them and get them to work, they scurry around their rooms like eels and you don’t see them again. I also have to take care of the logistics of the house, shopping, cooking for seven, it requires a lot of organization. I’m a bit like a woman who has just given birth. Sometimes I arrive at 12:30 still not showered, I’m completely out of step.
So I must admit that no, I am not into yoga, the gym or sewing during this confinement. We see a lot going on on social networks about how to occupy your children with activities more extraordinary than each other, like building a house with bottle caps for example, and I find that quite guilt-inducing. It puts a lot of pressure on the parents. The first week, I had real panic attacks telling myself that I couldn’t take care of them all the time with mega awesome things. I told myself that I was useless, that I would never succeed. I don’t think I’m the only one feeling this. Yes, I have my children make pancakes, but no, I haven’t made sports trails in my garden. I don’t do my twenty minutes of morning yoga because I’m trying to get some sleep. Then the children arrive, it’s breakfast, I have to shake them to send them to the shower and then put them to work. I once managed to do a Zumba session with my daughter and we had a good laugh, but the 10:30 a.m. slot offered by the coach is anything but practical. There are certainly plenty of offers to keep in shape, but it would take days twice as long to do everything you want when you are a mom in confinement.
This situation will create inequalities
Of course, it depends on the number of children and their age. Fortunately, mine are not that young and are doing well. I have a friend who has two children, one of whom is severely disabled. Her days are even more complicated, she can’t tell him ‘stay down for five minutes and draw’, it’s impossible, she has to focus absolutely all her attention on him. Admittedly, our situation is not obvious, but I think that we are privileged in spite of everything because we have a garden and the tools and education to be able to follow our children in their schooling. However, this is not the case for everyone and I think this situation will create inequalities compared to families which do not have printers or computers or an Internet connection, and where the parents are not not academically able to help their children to work.
As for my life after confinement, I don’t think it will change that much. I had already set up very local purchase actions and of course it is even stronger at the moment. Another positive thing is that I’ve connected with people I don’t know on the internet through Facebook solidarity pages. There is a lot of benevolence on this kind of networks and I may enjoy meeting these people, partying with them once this is all over!
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