Present … but not too much
During his vacation, the child was full of energy. He feels rested, relaxed. “In summer, you have to have a good time with your family, relax, advises André Richaud, principal in the Paris region (1). Suggest that he set up an office where he can do his homework quietly. Reassure him. explaining to him that you will stay by his side as long as he needs. Like a little one who learns to walk, whose hand you gradually let go … “And if he has not submitted to the rituals” vacation homework, ”don’t worry. Occasionally, nothing prevents you from “jabbering” in English or to make some conversions in euros. But without insisting: it is above all a game intended to restore his confidence. Of course, during his studies, he must become independent, but the acquisition of a working method can continue during the first two years of college.
At the start of the school year, no need to dwell on the many upheavals that await it: complex timetable, number of teachers, new subjects … For several years, the National Education has been promoting the smooth transition between the primary and the sixth. College visits in the second and third semesters of CM2 have become systematic. In the days following the start of the school year, a meeting will allow you to meet the teachers, in particular the head teacher. Students will then have taken the unrated assessment tests in French and mathematics. Even at an average level, a student with good self-esteem has every chance of success in his personal and professional life. But don’t wait until the end of the first trimester to discuss poor results with your teacher. If you are not available and it is impossible for you to help him on a daily basis, tutoring may be considered. Finally, although parents’ lack of interest in their child’s education is often denounced by teachers, excessive pressure can be destabilizing. Do not repeat to him: “You must be in the first three!” Avoid pointing out your shortcomings without highlighting your progress. “Academic success is not proof of affection,” says pedagogue Philippe Meirieu (2), who adds: “Our children owe us nothing.”
(1) “Guide to school guidance, from college to university”, André Richaud, Odile Jacob editions, 23.63 euros.
(2) “Homework”, Philippe Meirieu, Syros editions, 11.43 euros.
Knowing how to accept repetition
Less frequent than in the past, repetition still concerns one in three students at the end of the first cycle. Parents can only oppose the decision of the class council at the end of the fifth grade. If your child has to start their grade all over again, whether you approve of that choice or not, keep them from feeling devalued or unjustly sanctioned. “This measure can be experienced as a second chance,” comments André Richaud. school year.” At the end of the fifth grade, your child may also have been offered the option of following a fourth year of help and support. Aimed at those who have fallen behind and need a small group refresher, this special class does not exist at all establishments. In principle, it leads to a third integration, then to vocational high school.
Successful career counseling
By virtue of the principle of the “single college”, disputed however by three teachers out of four, the true orientation towards a vocational course does not intervene until the end of the third. Even if it means repeating this class, 70% of the students will enter general or technological second. While more than 35,000 adolescents leave the school system without a diploma in their pocket as soon as they reach the age of 16 …
Many schools are working to promote vocational education in the eyes of both students and their parents. It can even represent a way to come to terms with a difficult schooling. “Let us not forget that a child in a situation of failure is unhappy. The orientation aims to find a dynamic more focused on personal development”, estimates André Richaud. The latter also underlines the richness and diversity of current professional sectors, where it is less and less a question of “getting your hands dirty”. A CAP or BEP, obtained in two years, or a vocational baccalaureate, in four years, can offer openings in sectors which teenagers dream of such as graphics, video, fashion or new technologies.
Draw new limits for him
Assert yourself, find your marks, grow, quite simply: as you approach adolescence, you can expect new behaviors. The insolence, the casualness and the delays appear earlier and earlier, including in establishments deemed to have no fuss. You will then be led to draw limits, to recall the words and attitudes that you accept and those that you forbid. In some cases, these are simply transient crises, brought on by his adjustment to his new life.
From the fourth, most establishments notice a development of absenteeism. “Drying out” or “cutting” lessons, a phenomenon as old as school? No doubt, but it has long concerned high school. Today, colleges must take more drastic measures to retain those who risk “dropping out”. Another form of absenteeism can be linked to psychological suffering and adjustment difficulties. School phobia, which peaks in fourth and third, requires a consultation in child psychiatry.
Violence, racketeering: talk about it, without panicking
Abandoning your child to the ruthless world of teenagers is not always without anxiety … In the newspapers, violence and racketeering often appear in the “miscellaneous” section. In sixth grade, however, students spend most of their time in their class, so they are not expected to leave the school. Contacts with adults remain limited. Without your consent, your child will not be allowed to go out in the absence of a teacher or at lunchtime if he is a half-boarder. But his schedule may surprise you. “My son is free two afternoons a week at 2:30 pm … In principle, he has to go straight home but I’m not always there to check it,” says Chantal. Even if he rolls his eyes, enter into a “contract of trust” with him, for lack of being able to control his comings and goings. Do not hesitate to question him and to warn him – without pointing him, it’s quite an art … – against possible provocations when leaving college. Especially if he seems taciturn and preoccupied to you.