When we no longer look at each other, when we no longer pay attention to the other, it may be the beginning of the end. Several factors can lead to this romantic impasse: we first think of communication or sexuality. But there is another element that we think less about and which nevertheless remains essential to the longevity of a couple: sleep.
Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley conducted a study to analyze how sleep can affect feelings of gratitude and appreciation in one’s partner. 60 heterosexual couples between the ages of 18 and 56 participated by submitting to three separate exercises.
Sleep: poor sleep makes you more selfish
The first was to make a list of five things you are thankful for in your partner after a night’s sleep. As a result, those who slept badly expressed weaker gratitude towards their companion than those who slept well.
In the second exercise, participants were asked to note each day for two weeks whether they slept well and their gratitude to their partner. Here again, the researchers noticed that the lower level of gratitude was associated with poor sleep. People who slept badly were more selfish than others.
Finally, the third part of the study looked at the impact of sleep on the feeling of appreciation within the couple. People who sleep poorly felt less valued and appreciated by their partner. A feeling of being forgotten shared by the two lovers.
This study demonstrates the importance of good sleep to maintain good dynamics within the couple. Several reasons can disturb sleep: one person’s snoring, a shifted rhythm in the couple, for example one falls asleep earlier when the other prefers to stay awake longer to read or watch TV, sleeping troubles independent of sleeping two.
If the poor sleep is due to the fact of sleeping two, the solution may be to sleep in a large bed with ear plugs or, more drastically, to sleep separately. More and more couples prefer not to make concessions on their need for sleep and have become accustomed to make a separate room. This can make it possible to find a good sleep and at the same time a well-being which will reflect on his partner. Not sleeping in the same bed does not prevent you from being under the duvet to share moments of intimacy.
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