I am a 58 year old woman and I have several health problems. I have a muscle disorder and a thyroid disorder, 16 years ago I had breast cancer and I suffer from sweating attacks. I no longer have any sense of sex. That is terrible for me and for my husband. The internist can do nothing about it. Do you have any advice?
Joris Bartstra, journalist with medical diploma
Enjoying and being interested in sex is an extremely complicated process biologically and psychologically. It is therefore not surprising that everything can go wrong in sexual functioning. Your problem is not unknown either: you can love your partner but really don’t want to make love to him or her anymore. Hormonal processes naturally play a role, and chronic illness can also affect sex life.
Perhaps you can seek help from a sex therapist. In your medically complicated case, a doctor-sexologist seems to me the best choice. You can find a sexologist via the Sexology Association (www.nvvs.info).
What people usually do with problems like yours is to make an inventory of what both partners still like, and then do ‘something’ with it (for example, massaging each other), in the hope that both partners will get a good feeling together. Then you can try to ‘take’ that association of pleasant and tasty to another plan with a slightly more sexual charge. All this under the guidance of the therapist.
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