If it is important to listen to your sexual partner, it is also essential to satisfy your own desires.
According a new studysacrificing one’s sexual desires too much to please one’s partner ultimately leads to carnal dissatisfaction for both members of the couple.
Two surveys
To reach this conclusion, researchers conducted two surveys with 103 and 147 couples. In the first, participants were recruited in North America and answered questionnaires assessing their sexual habits and their level of satisfaction with it. All had to be adults, speak fluent English, be together for at least 6 months and see each other at least 4 times a week.
In the second survey, the participants were this time recruited in Canada. All had to be in a relationship for 2 years and share at least 5 nights a week. Cohort members answered a questionnaire for 21 days in a row just before going to bed, then filled out another form 3 months after the experiment ended.
Assessment: “Our two surveys indicate that choosing to be sincerely receptive to a partner’s sexual desires increases the relationship quality of the two members of the couple, while feeling obliged to be receptive to the carnal needs of the other by sacrificing one’s own desires can diminish the sexual well-being of both partners”, sum up the scientists who are members of the project.
Some limitations
Despite a very comprehensive approach because it is both cross-sectional and longitudinal, the two studies still have some limitations. First, because all the measurements were recorded by the participants themselves and are therefore subject to bias. Second, because the people surveyed were predominantly white and heterosexual, which means doing new research on a more diverse cohort.
The testpublished in The Journal of Sex Research, was conducted and written by Ariel Shoikhe.
