More than four out of five people hide their successes at one time or another, which has harmful effects on relationships. This creates a “paternalistic” feeling and breaks the trust there may be with confidants.
-1609162431.jpg "Concealing successes harms social relationships")
- 82% of the population is guilty of having already lied about their successes.
- People who had their loved one’s successes hidden from them expressed a feeling of estrangement from that person and said they were less happy with their success.
- Hiding a success would be caused by the desire not to hurt the other, an intention based only on assumptions, which would break the relationship of trust between two people.
Is all truth good to hear? According to this new study conducted by American researchers from the University of Chicago, the successes should not be hidden. Yet, according to scientists, 82% of the population is guilty of having lied about their successes. A concealment that is harmful to social relations, inducing a paternalistic feeling that unbalances the relationship and breaks trust. The researchers published the results of their study on December 4 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Less privacy
Researchers tested reactions to concealment of success. They had someone fill out a questionnaire in which they wrote down a recent success. A second person received this information with a message that the first person does not wish to share this information. This second person then answered a series of questions about their feelings and feelings. In another experiment, the researchers measured this concealment of information at work where a participant sometimes shared and sometimes hid his successes. Finally, in a third experiment, the researchers measured the reactions of participants who received a Facebook message disclosing or concealing a friend’s accomplishment.
In all situations, people who saw their loved one’s successes hidden from view felt insulted. They also expressed a feeling of estrangement from this person and said they were less happy with their success. Their confidence also dropped significantly after learning that their loved one hid information. The researchers add that this is not the first time that a scientific study has pointed to the harmful effects of hiding information, causing others to feel that this information is more negative than it really is. . It has also been shown to create anxiety and decrease intimacy between individuals.
A significant relational cost
The researchers believe that the emergence of these feelings in the face of the concealment of an achievement is the consequence of a psychological mechanism of “paternalism”. Researchers define paternalism as “intentions to help the target based on an assumption about its interest”. Hiding a success would be caused by the desire not to hurt the other, an intention based solely on assumptions, which would break the relationship of trust between two people, which is based in particular on the mutual sharing of information. That “mutual disclosure standard” grows stronger as the intimacy of the relationship increases. The more we hide a success from a person who is close to us, the more the reaction of betrayal in the other will be important. “Hiding Success Has Relational, Behavioral, and Emotional Costs” concludes the study.
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