Incessant arguments, infidelity, conflicts…. your couple is going through difficulties and needs help to get through this crisis? The psychologist and sexologist Sébastien Garnero gives the keys to choosing the right professional who can help you re-establish a constructive dialogue with your partner.
Let’s face it: even if love is present, the life of a couple is made up of ups and downs… And sometimes, these downs can be so frequent or reach such depths that it becomes difficult to see the rest of the story. story with confidence. Before taking a drastic decision, it may be interesting to start couple therapy with your partner. However, it is then necessary to turn to the right specialist.
How to choose the right marriage psychologist?
“Choosing a Psychotherapist and/or Marital Psychologist/Sexologist is an essential step, especially since it is often a phase that is not always obvious in the evolution of the couple. The objective obviously being to find a professional who can help you effectively”explains the psychologist and sexologist Dr Sébastien Garnero.
If one of the first reflexes is to look at the closest marital psychotherapists, there are several elements to pay attention to when choosing a professional.
Rely on recommendations
Even in the digital age, word of mouth is still a good way to find the right professional for your spouse and yourself. Indeed, although it is not always easy to openly talk about your difficulties as a couple, friends, colleagues or family members who have needed a health professional specialized in this field, are sources of important information and tips.
Sébastien Garnero also recommends “seek advice from your attending physician who may also have knowledge of professionals who practice marital therapy”.
Verify clinician qualification and experience
To avoid making an appointment with a “charlatan”, you must check the qualifications of the psychotherapists, psychologists, couple psychiatrists you have identified. For this you can:
- Use the main health directories of recognized and state-certified professionals in their field (psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, sexologist) and practicing couple therapy in your region, department, city…;
- Ensure that professionals have at least the qualifications, diplomas (ARS references, Adeli professional number or mandatory RPPS) and status allowing them to practice as psychotherapists. “Following numerous abuses where some people claimed to be “psychotherapist, therapist…” either with very basic training or without any title, they said they were “doing therapy”, the title of “Psychotherapist” is now part of the protected titles by the state in France, like that of Psychiatrist Doctor and Psychologist. This situation is relatively recent (Accoyer law 2004; implementing decree 2010, and publication in 2012) and aims to protect patients from various and varied “charlatanism” with the “multiplication of Coaches, Psychopractitioners, therapists of all kinds… », in particular to prevent possible abuse of weakness, and the fight against the usurpation of the title of psychotherapist. Concretely, the title can only be requested from the ARS by Psychologists, Psychiatrists with titles, or doctors and psychoanalysts (members of recognized associations, etc.) who have validated theoretical training (400 hours) and a four-month practical internship in pathology / clinic delivered by a French university. For the title of Sexologist (reserved for health professionals) having, in addition to their initial training, a specialization in Sexology of at least 2 to 3 years (inter-university diploma by a French university)”says the expert.
Choose the therapeutic approach that suits you
“The therapeutic approach is also interesting and important to consider. Indeed, some professionals use Cognitive-Behavioral Therapies (CBT), other systemic or psycho-dynamic type approaches that can be used entirely depending on the case and the situation. It is therefore important to choose an approach that resonates most with his vision of things, his style of couple, and adapted to the problems encountered”recalls Stéphane Garnero.
Pay attention to the first contact with the couple’s psychologist
“During your first meeting or telephone conversation, you must be attentive to the way the therapist listens to you, and respect for you and your partner. Thus, he should create a “secure space”, and not judgmental, so that you can express yourself completely freely in this therapeutic setting”advises psychologist and sexologist Stéphane Garnero.
The first session is also an opportunity to define the therapeutic alliance (the collaboration between the patients and the therapist). “Do not hesitate at the same time to be attentive to the way in which you feel in this context, free to express your difficulties, at ease, in confidence and then to consider with the psychologist the feasibility of carrying out a marital psychotherapy”.
Moreover, as its name suggests, couples therapy is not done alone, so you have to check whether the therapeutic framework offered (schedules, frequency, prices, meeting arrangements, proximity, etc.) is also suitable for your spouse.
Take the time to choose your psychotherapist
Even if your couple is in crisis, it is important to take the time to choose a couple or marriage psychotherapist with whom you and your partner feel comfortable and confident.
“Choosing the right couple/conjugal psychotherapist, beyond the skills of the therapist, is above all a personal choice, and even the “best psychotherapist in the world” cannot help you to be together if his approach or style does not suit the yours, or sometimes also when separation is sometimes the best or the only solution”concludes Stéphane Garnero.