Top health. The subject of the mother-in-law is often at the origin of discussions within a couple. Why ?
William buna. It is not the mother-in-law but the place she takes that is the subject of debate. The one who is intrusive, who takes the place of a wife or a husband. It is more often the woman who has a problem with her mother-in-law, who has not yet cut the cord with her son.
Is this a cliché?
WB. It is true that a lot of men play on this, with remarks of the type “there is still your mother with us tonight”. This man who is critical of his mother-in-law is often the same man who is happy to be able to count on her when it comes to taking care of children, for example. There is a certain ambivalence. On the other hand, if a man complains about his mother-in-law, it may be the way to compare his wife to her by telling her “you are like your mother”.
We always quote the stepmother and rarely the stepfather …
WB. It’s an old format where the mother would be very present and the father absent. But this cliché seems less significant in the younger generations. It is a fairly old-fashioned benchmark. The roles must above all be those of benevolence and decorum.
How to fight against this prejudice?
WB. We must communicate, break the myth of the mother-in-law and the father-in-law. Do not hesitate to discuss it with your spouse, or directly with the step-parent in question without including his spouse. Today, to be modern it is necessary to discuss, to say things to each other.
William Buna, liberal psychologist, and author of Lulu in the land of susus, Jenn Ink Editions.
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