Illustrator Héloïse Weiner posted a drawing on Instagram entitled “So, when is the (next) baby?”. Liked more than 27,000 times, the post explains why this question should not be asked.
The question may seem trivial, but asking when is the next baby can lead to serious and painful health problems. Illustrator Héloïse Weiner published on his Instagram account two pictures summarizing these sufferings.
Miscarriages
The subject is still taboo in France, but it is a common problem. About one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and one in three women will miscarry in her lifetime. The ordeal of a miscarriage is often very badly experienced by women and their partners, who do not necessarily want to talk about it. Asking about a future baby rekindles the pain of loss.
A complicated subsequent pregnancy
Pregnancy is generally a happy period, but it can also trigger major health problems: preeclampsia, depression, gestational diabetes… Enough to vaccinate some to repeat the experience, without necessarily wanting to justify yourself by unpacking intimate ailments .
A difficult postpartum
the postpartum is often associated with the first weeks after birth, but this condition actually lasts for a year. During this period, women are particularly fragile, and have to deal with many bodily, psychological and marital changes: lack of sleep, weight gain, baby blues, drop in sexual relations… Even if the idea of a another child is often not banished, the majority of women prefer to wait a bit to recover. In this context, asking when the little brother or the little sister will be is often experienced as a pressure.
infertility
Whether it affects the woman or the man, the problem of infertility is often very painful and difficult to accept. The impossibility of conceiving a child can be due to diseases, abnormalities or lifestyles (the quality of sperm drops for example in smokers). In France, approximately one in eight couples consults because of difficulties in conceiving a child. Assisted reproduction can sometimes provide solutions, but not always. In any case, asking when the next child will be can trigger stress, sadness or anger.
An attempt at medically assisted procreation (PMA) in progress
The paths of medically assisted procreation are very trying, both physically and psychologically. Often long, this ordeal for couples quickly becomes an obsession, accompanied by a very real fear of failure. So there is no need to add to it by asking the fateful question.
A secret pregnancy
Because the risk of miscarriage is very high during the first three months, many women choose not to go public with their condition early in pregnancy. Asking about an upcoming baby forces the mother to lie, which can be very uncomfortable.
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