More than one in two French people consider themselves shy, or have been in the past. Illness shyness affects one person in 20, and paralyzing shyness, one in 40…
An apprehension of the unknown or the “first time”, an unfamiliar situation, causes shyness. Those who suffer from it avoid these situations so as not to feel uncomfortable, therefore do not learn to face them, and… the shyness is perpetuated. With degrees that go from a light shape to one that handicaps all relationships. We must therefore avoid general theories, which would tend to trivialize for everyone the psychological and behavioral consequences of shyness. Illness shyness concerns one in 20 French people, of whom nearly two million are affected by the so-called “paralyzing” form, which psychiatrists call social phobia and which promotes the onset of depressive states, the use of alcohol, tobacco or cannabis…
1 in 20 French people
Shy people do not necessarily feel the same degree of shyness towards all people. The examples are legion of inveterate shy radio presenters as soon as they leave the microphone and daring actors on stage who reveal themselves to be monsters of shyness in interviews. We absolutely cannot put this problem on the sole back of genetics because it has been proven that a more or less withdrawn character comes rather from the environment in which the child was raised. Legend says shyness isn’t a bad thing… but it’s those who aren’t shy who peddle it. Those who suffer from it tend to perceive their own shyness as a flaw, and many of them are uncomfortable with it. But it is true that many are perceived as listening ears, and think more before speaking.
Act… as a group
Fortunately, shyness gradually decreases with age and life experiences; a child shy of strangers may eventually lose this apprehension. But it’s a shame to wait until you get old to be rid of it. At first, absolutely never use drugs. What our doctors have not always done by having a heavy hand with those against anxiety; which has made our country the world’s leading consumer of this category of drugs. They can temporarily reduce the level of anxiety but at the risk of side effects and dependence, without modifying the fears on the merits. The solution will come from so-called “behavioural” therapies, of which we are beginning to have very solid experience. Their goal is to learn to manage their fears and face social situations more calmly. The ideal is to do it in a group, for a “training” in the form of role-playing games with several people. An effective treatment but unfortunately not available everywhere in France. The anxiety is very strong, the process is sometimes impossible at first; remain classic individual sessions.
Doctor Jean-Francois Lemoine
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