Less hassle for better resistance
Headache, low resistance, bad skin, hair loss? Maybe it’s your relationship. Arguments and stress are not only disastrous for the atmosphere, but can also be bad for your health. This way you ensure that you get a boost from your love life.
According to many studies, singles are less healthy than people who do have a partner. They are said to have 30 percent more neck and back complaints, a higher risk of cardiovascular disease and, according to some scientists, even a lower life expectancy.
If you brush out the happy couples from those equations, it looks very different. Because, even in a relationship you can suffer from, for example, loneliness or lack of social support. Such factors often seem to be the culprits for poorer health.
Recognize a relationship dip
Sometimes you don’t even realize that it is your relationship that makes you lifeless and agitated. Everyone recognizes arguing as a relationship problem, but sometimes the stress builds up through unspoken irritations, blame or desires. Even if, for example, you are always afraid that your partner is cheating (again), you can get medical problems.
Take a look at how you’re doing. And: what part does your relationship have? If you continue to worry, you can eventually develop the physical complaints that are also related to chronic stress: high blood pressure, palpitations, low resistance, headaches and no appetite or overeating. Women in particular are at risk.
4 tips for a healthy relationship
Don’t immediately put your partner out on the street if your relationship is causing stress. Try to tackle the problems together. Because in the end a relationship is actually very healthy.
1. Rules to talk smarter
Make strict agreements for a while to improve the atmosphere. For example: if a conversation turns into an argument, you stop immediately. You agree to talk about it again the next day. The sting is often gone by then.
Psychologist Annette Heffels gives more advice in her book ‘Talking with your partner’ to prevent the atmosphere from getting worse. For example, you learn to convert complaints into wishes. That also reduces your stress.
2. No time for each other, but time next to each other
It is important that you find moments again to do things together that give you both energy. A romantic dinner sounds logical, but actually causes stress when the table conversation turns into bickering. Perhaps (for now) you mainly enjoy an activity, such as a bike ride, where you do something ‘next to each other’.
3. Keep track of what works
During (relationship) therapy you are often instructed to keep track of which activities are working well and which are not. In other words: what are energy givers and what energy takers? This way you discover what you could do together more often.
4. Invest in Intimacy
The healthy effect of love also has a lot to do with intimacy and sex. If you want to get more out of your relationship, it’s good to be intimate more often. Read the tips to get your sex life back on track.
Don’t expect it to get better in a week. It takes time and energy to completely overcome relationship stress. But, it’s a shame not to try. Go to the doctor if you can’t figure it out. He or she may refer you to a relationship therapist.
Sources:
* Talk to your partner. You can choose love – Annette Heffels (Het Spectrum Publishers, paperback, 2010)
* Save Your Relationship – Dr Phill McGraw (Het Spectrum Publishers, 2000)
