Lack of hygiene, apathy, drowsiness, lack of curiosity, daytime fatigue, decline in professional or academic skills, hypersensitivity, cognitive or eating disorders, strategic withdrawal under the duvet: the symptoms of potential depression are numerous, and its forms too. “But at the moment, the health situation brings us a large number of neurotic depressions, linked to a feeling of loss of control over external events, says Séverine Némesin. The cabinets are full, and the phone rings constantly for new requests. Moreover, we sometimes even have people who call to try to get their loved ones to consult. Which is perhaps the best you can do for a friend who is not well.”
That being said, your role, when one of your loved ones is in this situation, does not stop there: “We must try to send the subject back to the life drive by giving him a taste for small things, for small moments. Symbolically, we must open the shutters to let the light in again.” By avoiding, however, to make some major mistakes…
Behaviors and Phrases to Avoid
Above all, beware of the savior syndrome: “A single person cannot save someone from depression. But it is something that we also observe in caregivers.” Also, avoid leaving the person alone, making them feel guilty by implying that they are the cause of their discomfort or even “to trivialize or devalue his suffering.”
And in order not to reinforce this suffering, take care not to chain “the phrases-boats, heard too often, like “you have everything to be happy”, “shake up!” and other “pretend it doesn’t exist”. Firstly because it can make the situation worse, but also because “your loved one would risk, having the impression of being a burden for you, of wanting to hide his discomfort. However, the reality of the situation is too significant for us to deny it.”
And if you do not deny it, however, be careful not to ask your loved one if he/she is taking his/her medication, “and so to reduce him/her to his sick state.”
But then what to do?
Overall, demonstrate of delicacy and understanding : “You have to bring the possibility of your permanent presence to the other without forcing it, and especially not because of depression. You have to be more flexible and show your compassion.hear your suffering enough to want to understand and help you. While asking him to indicate that your presence may be too much sometimes.
The other course to keep? That of unconditional love : “Showing that whatever his state, we want to be with the other in what seems to be an ordeal is an important message. Moreover, we often want to relieve him of his depression out of selfishness because we don’t don’t like to see him suffer. However, it is necessary to start by accepting his own suffering to help him accept his own, while being attentive to the small signs that show that depression is gaining or losing ground.” In other words, be both present and vigilant. One eye on the path, the other on the horizon.
Read also:
- Do I need to see a psychiatrist?
- Anxiety disorders, depression… How to get help?
- 5 signs that show you suffer from anxiety
