Childbirth is an unpredictable event whose plans can be disrupted, sometimes leading to psychological distress for women and those around them.
- When complications arise during childbirth, emotional distress can be intense and challenging for mothers and those around them.
- Several tips can help manage this suffering, such as recognizing and allowing yourself the right to feel disappointment and sadness.
- When the baby arrives, those around them can sometimes blame the mother for not being happy to have given birth and not understanding why she is suffering.
Childbirth is a moment surrounded by dreams and expectations whose reality can be very different from what had been imagined. When complications arise, the emotional distress can be intense and challenging for mothers and those around them.
Questioning the ideal childbirth scenario
Although every pregnancy is unique, every woman mentally prepares for an ideal scenario. Facing a different reality, especially during a difficult birth, can be synonymous with pain, loss of control and strong disappointment.
When things do not go as planned, the mother may feel strong sadness, anger or frustration as well as guilt and a sense of failure. Some mothers prefer not to talk about their experience and envy more positive birth stories, thus isolating themselves in their suffering.
How to deal with the distress of a difficult birth?
Some practical advice can help manage the suffering caused by a bad birth:
• Recognize and allow yourself the right to experience disappointment, sadness and other emotions about childbirth as they are part of the grieving process.
• Accept that the ideal birth is rare and that the majority of women do not experience the birth they imagined. Remembering that this is normal can reduce feelings of isolation.
• Talk as much as possible with healthcare professionals and other women who have experienced difficult births to find comfort and answers to their questions.
• Express your emotions as much as possible, whether in a journal, in the form of artistic expression such as drawing or music.
• Take time for yourself to allow yourself to recover emotionally.
How to explain your suffering to your loved ones?
When the baby arrives, those around them can sometimes blame the mother for not being happy to have given birth and not understanding why she is suffering.
To help you, choose an appropriate time to talk honestly about your emotions and experience while clearly expressing your needs. Also listen to their reactions and be patient, your loved ones also need time to understand what happened.
Find out more: “Pregnancy: the whole truth, nothing but the truth: The first book written by pregnant women for pregnant women” by Maude Harcheb.
