By voluntarily giving birth to her two children at home, Eve made an unusual choice. Delighted by this initiative, she tells us how her deliveries went.
- In June 2020 and April 2023, Eve voluntarily gave birth to her two children at home.
- The two home births having gone very well, the young woman talks about her experience.
- “I think it’s a project that must come from within yourself and correspond to your personality,” she believes.
“I have absolutely no regrets.” Like only less than 2% of French women, Eve courageously and twice chose to give birth at home*.
Home birth: “I don’t feel very good in the hospital environment”
“I don’t really remember how this idea came to me, but it happened quite early and quite naturally in my thinking, because I was very keen on the fact that my body functions without external help, as it happens since the dawn of time”, explains the young woman. “Moreover, I don’t feel very good in the hospital environment, it makes me worry and I have the impression of being infantilized, that the doctors will decide everything for me,” she continues. “My husband Yao also told me that he dreamed of giving birth to his wife. The fact that he is Ivorian surely influenced this desire, because his mother gave birth to her eight children without medical assistance,” she analyzes. “I also wanted to give him a real place in childbirth, unlike in maternity where the man is often stripped of his role as father during birth.”
“We really felt like we had given birth to two”
Living 5 minutes from a hospital* in the town of Vaulx-en-Velin, the couple met all the conditions to carry out their project from the first pregnancy. After numerous unsuccessful searches, Eve and her husband finally managed to find a midwife who only performs home births.
“When my water broke at 9 a.m., we immediately informed her and kept her regularly informed of the progress of the labor. She came by once at the beginning of the afternoon to give me do a monitoring and check-up, then Yao asked her to come back around midnight because he felt that the expulsion was getting closer. She finally arrived two short hours before I gave birth during the night.” says Eve.
“During the entire labor, I moved a lot (ball, bath, pelvic movements, etc.) and my partner was with me constantly. For example, when I was lying on the bed, he was behind me to support my stomach and accompany me, which helped a lot. When I finally gave birth at 2:54 a.m., we were standing opposite each other at the foot of our bed. He supported me on his shoulders and “I had my knees resting a little on his. When our son Elie arrived, we really had the impression of having given birth to two people, with all our strength. It was sublime.”Eve recalls with happiness.
Home birth: “I experienced my pain as a force”
“As you can’t have an epidural when you give birth at home, I had really, really bad pain, but I experienced it as a strength, because at the end of the birth, I I said to myself: “Wow! I succeeded, I can do that!” It was an immense source of pride, and I also felt a lot of gratitude towards my body!” remembers the stay-at-home mother. “Always regarding pain, I also understood it through my faith. Like Jesus on the cross, suffering allowed me to give life, so it was normal to welcome it and go through it. It was a great spiritual experience for me and my partner, and not something negative at all”, rejoices this former head of the medico-social establishment department.
“The only downside was my tear, which the midwife sewed up at home. I found it difficult to live with the pain associated with this injury during the postpartum period,” she testifies.
Far from being discouraged by these inconveniences, Eve chose to repeat the experience for her second child three years later. “My second delivery was different, because it was much shorter and much less painful. I was also a little more worried about my ability to tolerate the suffering, whereas for Elie I was mainly afraid of being induced in the hospital. We also had to deal with my oldest sleeping in the spare room with my mother throughout labor, it was pretty epic.” laughs Eve. “This time I gave birth standing up in the bathtub, with one foot on the edge. I really felt with my hand the hair and head of my daughter Yaëlle coming, it was very powerful! And I I didn’t even tear it, a real little personal victory!”, she congratulates herself.
Home birth: how to prepare?
How do we prepare for such intense events? “For the first pregnancy, I prepared by following distance learning courses with my midwife, because it was the Covid period. For the second, I was also able to benefit from the advice of a specialist in haptonomy, who really gave me the keys to help the baby go down. Thanks to this, I almost didn’t fight against the contractions. I rather tried to accompany them, constantly repeating to myself at the time of expulsion: “He don’t push, let your body do its thing”. I was thus able to see the impressive power of my body.” remembers the thirty-year-old.
Would she recommend a home birth to other women? “I think first of all that it is a project that must come from oneself and correspond to our personality. For example, if an expectant mother is completely stressed about giving birth at home, it is better that she does it in a maternity ward. For me, the key to a successful birth lies above all in choosing an environment that triggers the production of oxytocin.” believes Eve.
“Before deciding on the birth plan, I also advise couples to find out* about the reality of home birth and the way in which the body functions during labor. We studied the issue a lot with my husband during my two pregnancies, in particular by watching training on the Internet.”
“I now dream of giving birth to my third child at home!”
Finally, let us point out that even if the medicalization of the two deliveries was minimal, the journeys of Eve and Yao were still slightly supported by the hospital. “In the seventh month of my first pregnancy, I registered at the maternity ward in order to have a file ready in case there was a problem (transfer, prematurity, etc.)”, details Eve. “For my second delivery, I was past my due date. So I went to the maternity ward to have a check-up and I agreed to have my membranes removed in order to avoid triggering,” she indicates.
“If I get pregnant again, I now dream of giving birth to my third child at home!” concludes our heroine with enthusiasm.
* In June 2020 and April 2023.
* The mandatory condition for being able to give birth at home is to live within a reasonable distance of the midwife and a maternity ward.
* THE CDAAD is a user association which supports this reflection very well.
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