More and more couples are choosing to sleep separately to preserve the quality of their sleep and, consequently, their relationship. This phenomenon, called “sleep divorce”, is gaining popularity. While snoring, night movements and shifts disrupt rest, sleeping in separate rooms could well be the solution to promote harmony in the couple.
- “Sleep divorce” is a growing strategy to improve sleep quality and relationship.
- It is crucial not to use this practice to avoid treating underlying health issues, such as sleep apnea.
- Each couple must find the balance that works best for them, taking into account individual needs and the importance of intimacy.
Sleeping together is traditionally seen as a symbol of intimacy and connection within a couple. However, more and more people are choosing to separate at night, not out of love, but to preserve their own well-being and that of their partner. This phenomenon, called “sleep divorce,” is actually a conscious strategy to avoid nighttime disruptions that can erode sleep quality and, by extension, the couple’s relationship.
One-Third of Americans Sleep Separately from Their Partner
A recent survey conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) found that more than a third of Americans regularly sleep apart from their partner. Among them, millennials are the most likely to adopt this practice, with 43% of them saying they do not share a bed with their partner, followed by 33% of Gen Xers. The causes of these nightly separations are varied: snoring, incessant tossing and turning, shifts in schedules or simply the need for personal space to sleep better.
Far from being a sign of disunity, this choice is often motivated by a desire to preserve harmony within the couple. Indeed, disturbed sleep can lead to irritability, tension and even conflict, especially when one of the partners is responsible for these disturbances. “We know that insufficient sleep can worsen mood, and that people who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners.”explains Dr. Seema Khosla, pulmonologist and member of the AASM.
A pragmatic solution to preserve a relationship
Sleep is crucial for overall well-being, and its lack can have deleterious effects on mental and physical health. Several studies have shown that lack of sleep can reduce empathy levels, making individuals less patient and more likely to react negatively to their partner’s behaviors. In this context, sleeping in separate rooms becomes a pragmatic solution to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
However, it is essential to understand that “sleep divorce” should not be seen as a miracle solution, but rather as one option among others to improve the quality of life and the relationship. Dr. Khosla warns against using this strategy to mask deeper problems in the relationship. “If snoring is the primary reason for sleeping separately, it is important to consult a doctor to rule out underlying health issues, such as sleep apnea.”she says.
Sleep apnea can be a symptom of a serious condition
Sleep apnea is a serious, often underdiagnosed disorder that causes frequent pauses in breathing during sleep. The disorder can lead to serious health consequences, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes. So what may seem like a simple discomfort related to snoring could actually be a symptom of a condition that requires medical attention.
On the other hand, “sleep divorce” can also be seen as a way to encourage autonomy and respect for individual needs within the couple. Indeed, recognizing that each person may have different needs when it comes to sleep, without compromising intimacy, can strengthen trust and communication between partners. Couples even report that this nightly separation improves their sex life, by reducing the pressure of having to share a bed every night.
Sleeping separately: an excuse to avoid intimacy?
But the practice isn’t without its critics. Some relationship experts worry that it can become an excuse to avoid intimacy or ignore underlying relationship issues. So it’s essential that couples communicate openly about their needs and expectations, and find ways to maintain emotional connection, even if they’re sleeping apart.
So, is sleep divorce the key to a better quality of life as a couple? For some, it seems so. But as with any relationship strategy, it’s about finding a balance between personal well-being and emotional closeness. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, and each couple needs to explore what works best for them.
Sleep divorce is not a betrayal of marital intimacy, but a pragmatic response to the challenges of sleep in a relationship. For those who suffer from disturbed nights, this strategy can offer a welcome respite and contribute to a more harmonious relationship. However, it is crucial to remain attentive to each other’s needs and not ignore signs of more serious problems.
