Instead of avoiding jealousy, equality can increase sibling rivalry.
As soon as a brother or sister arrives, the same question arises: how to maintain equality to prevent one from feeling injustice or jealousy towards the other? ? On the contrary, to avoid rivalry it is preferable to respect each other’s differences and individuality.
Every child needs to feel unique
It is often thought that equality consists of giving each of the children the same gifts, the same attention span or the same activities. However, despite all your efforts, it is normal for the child to feel unfair since it is impossible to be completely fair.
On the contrary, it is normal to meet the particular needs of each child in a different way since each has his own personality and needs to feel unique in the eyes of his parents. No need to calculate what you give and seek equality, focus instead on what characterizes your child, that is to say his interests, his tastes, his passions and the relationship you have with him. him.
To be fair is to recognize that every child is different
By emphasizing and valuing the individual characteristics of your children, you allow them not only to feel unique, but also to accept that the relationship is different, without jealousy or rivalry. You favor mutual help and not competition since everyone will be aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, but also of those of their brother and/or sister.
Encourage your children to support each other and develop empathy with each other. In the event of a dispute, take the time to hear each other’s version and make a decision without taking sides.
If your child asks you who your favorite is, explain to him that you love all your children very much but differently since they are unique and different from each other.
Find out more: “Brothers and sisters without rivalry” by Adèle Faber and Elaine Mazlish published by Phare.
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